The World Inside My Mind

Brown.

I know there are leaves here.
I just can't see them as of now.
The shade of grey that is his hair,
Match the leaves fall through the air.
Weightlessness weighs me down,
I fall down.
One little brown leaf.
A leaf he picked up for reasons I don't understand.
Brown, fading, dying, laying in the mud.
Thinking about dancing that dance she memorised while falling through the air.
He is new here.
Orange,
Bright,
Crisp,
Clean.
Should he stay?
I don't know.
If I pull him in, he drowns with me.
If I push him away, he freezes in the wind.
Does he prefer the frost?
Or am I his frost?
Cold.
Unloving.
Faded.
Brown.
Beat of shoes on gravel,
Maybe my friends care after all.
But they tread on me.
Just another brown one,
Half drowning in the mud.
Not worth picking up.
Not worth taking home.
Brown, and dying, and lost.
They laugh,
A joke I don't understand.
But when do I?
I don't get my tears,
Or my smiles,
Or my heart,
Or my stupid fading head.
Or him.
And why he's down here drowning with me.
He could be floating up there still, dancing a dance he memorised on his way down.
He could be in someone's pocket,
Smiling to himself as someone carries him home.
He could dry in the sun.
Crisp and clean like he is now.
Curl up in the heat,
Leave me here.
Leave me here.

Leave.
Me.
Here.

Please

249 words to sum up my heart,
Exactly 246 more glances it took for me to fall.
Exactly 247 more smiles.
Exactly 248 more words.
Maybe that's just a bit of an exaggeration.
But it was 248 more conversation topics.
Apples.
He likes green, sour and bittersweet like my laugh.
I like red, warm and comforting like his.