The Contest

Chapter 33

Later that night I got into the bathtub. I laid there for a while, the hot water heating me up, but my body still feeling cold. I sunk deeper into the water, going to my nose. I closed my eyes, and a few tears slid into the hot water. I wasn't going to cry today. I had been determined not to actually. I just wanted her back.
"Do you want me to wash your hair?" She asked, coming into the bathroom. I slid up just so my mouth was above the water.
"If you wouldn't mind." I replied. She walked over and kneeled by the tub.
"You know your sister is twenty years old and still loves it when I wash her hair for her. I guess it just feels better." She said.
"It does feel nice. It's relaxing." I told her.
"What are you kids ever going to do without me?" She asked.
"I don't know momma." I said. The door opened.
"Miss? W-who are you talking to?" Emma asked. I looked over to where my mom had been kneeling.
"No one." I muttered, sinking back into the bathtub.
"Oh. Do you want me to wash your hair?" She asked. I shook my head. "Alright. How are you doing?" She asked, going to iron my pajamas. I slid up.
"Not the best. Could be better, could be worse." I said. She nodded.
"Silk or cotton tonight?" She asked.
"Cotton please." I answered. She pulled some out of a drawer.
"So tell me, what do you think about the whole Evangeline and Taylor thing?" She asked.
"I'm not really sure I care too much, but I don't really trust either of them. They've caused so much trouble in the past to really be trusted." I said.
"I see what you mean. Pajamas are done." She said. I got out and dried off. "I'm going to make some tea, I will bring some here." She said.
"Oh I'm fi-" the door closed before I could finish. I sighed and put on my pajamas.
"She's very sweet. Reminds me of your sister." She said.
"Which one?" I asked, pulling a book from off my nightstand.
"Ana. Quiet, but in a good way. Not meek." She said, sitting on my bed.
"What are you doing here?" I asked.
"Didn't you call me?" She asked.
"No, I didn't. I just wish you had been here for me to do so." I muttered.
"I'm always here for you." She said.
"You're not here Mom!" I said, my voice rising. "You're gone, and I don't know what else to do about that!"
"I'm here to listen. You always know what I'm going to say."
"Just go away! You're gone, and I'm never getting you back!" I yelled.
"Amberlyn?" Someone asked from the doorway. I whipped my head, and saw a group of girls in the doorway. Harmonia, Tink, Shaeleigh, Kelsey, and several other girls from the powders. I bit my lip.
"You okay?" Tink asked.
"Y-yeah." I said.
"Can we come in?" Kelsey asked. I nodded. They piled into my bedroom and shut the door. I counted the group. Seven. Harmonia, Kelsey, Jessica, Ember, Tink, Marlowe, and me.
"So how are you feeling?" Kelsey asked.
"I'm fine." I answered.
"I told you not to ask her that." Tink said to Kelsey.
"Oh yeah." Kelsey said. I smiled a little.
"It's okay. Thank you for asking. I don't think I'll really be okay for a while, but I'll get there. I think I saw it coming. I didn't have much hope left after the heart attack happened. She was always sick, always stressed. I'm just sad she'll never get to see me married, or get to meet her grandchildren. She's going to miss so much." I said, looking down. Harmonia pulled the ponytail holder out of my hair and began to play with my hair.
"Yeah." Jessica muttered. No one really knew what to say. Emma came into the room.
"I brought tea and cupcakes from the kitchen." She said.
"You planned this out?" I asked, looking at the girls.
"You're always so strong for us, so we want to be strong for you." Tink said. I felt a smile rise to my lips. One of the first genuine ones in a few days.
"Thank you guys. You're all the best." I said. "I don't think I've ever had better friends." I heard a small sob from the corner of my room. I looked over and saw Ember crying. I was shocked. The girl who I had thought of as robotic, the girl who had never shown a single emotion was crying.
"Ember!" I gasped. She buried her face in her hands.
"Please, I didn't mean to get emotional." She said through her hands.
"Come sit." I said, patting the bed next to me. She stood and sat on the bed. I wrapped an arm around her, and she sank into me.
"Why are you crying?" I asked.
"Well, you love your mom so much. You say you're going to miss her and that you're never going to get over her death. I'm thinking about my parents. My mom died when i was born, but my father...I don't think I would miss him as much as you miss your mother."
"What makes you think that?" I asked.
"Well my father, he works on robots. Since we are from Thinking that's all he does. Think. When I was little he ignored me. He would work on his projects, and would ignore me. I decided that to get his attention I was going to be one of his projects." She said.
"How did that work?" Shaeleigh asked.
"Well, you see, I became a robot. Acting, talking and feeling like one. My emotions went away, and a sick, inhuman version of me came out. I didn't feel at all. It was wrong. I didn't want to do it, but I slipped into a constant state of roboticness. I couldn't pull myself out of it. People expected me to be this way, and I couldn't stop."
"That's awful." Marlowe muttered. I felt myself get mad. She was fake too, but only I knew. She was the reason my dad was arrested. She was the reason my mom was gone. I held back my anger, and comforted Ember.
"Why do you hate him so much?" I asked.
"He thinks I have no feelings. If i act like a robot I must be one. He would..." she paused and bit her bottom lip.
"Did he hit you?" Harmonia asked, covering her mouth with her hand.
She nodded. The girls gasped, and I hugged her tighter.
"You should tell Archer." I suggested.
"No!" She exclaimed, moving out of my arms.
"Why not?" I asked.
"I can't tell anyone else. My father would be furious if he knew I told you and he would just make life even more of a living hell for me." She exclaimed, burying her face in her hands again. "I'm sorry Amberlyn. You weren't supposed to be doing this today. I was supposed to be helping you." She said. Her fire red hair fell into her face. I pulled it back and began to braid it.
"It's okay. Just because I need help doesn't mean I'm going anywhere. I'm happy to help." I said.
"I feel like I shouldn't be here. I'm not pretty, and I'm such a robot. The Prince hasn't even taken me on a date yet." She confided.
"That's absurd!" Tink exclaimed.
"No, no. It's okay. I was thinking about it a while back, and I think I'm going to ask to leave. He doesn't love me. He never will." She said.
"I'm absolutely not letting you go back to your Father." I said.
"I have nowhere else to go." She said.
"You know Ember, I have an idea." Kelsey said. Ember tilted her head in a questioning manner. "Tomorrow, before the report, you're going to come to my room, and I'm going to doll you up. You're going to talk to the Prince, just like you're talking to us now. You're going to ask him on a date yourself." Kelsey said.
"No! I can't do that!" Ember exclaimed.
"Why not? I'm sure you're the only one left in the competition who hasn't been on a date with him. Just walk up to him and say 'Hey Archer, want to have dinner together tomorrow night?"
"Well more formal than that." Shaeleigh said.
"Yeah, I mean he won't mind. He's very laid back." Harmonia said.
"You're engaged to his brother, of course he is to you." Ember said.
"That's not the point. You should ask him." Harmonia said.
"I agree." Tink said. "I mean, even I've had a date with him, and I'm impossible to handle." She said. Ember giggled.
"Okay...I will." She said.
"Yay!" Kelsey cheered. "This deserves cupcakes." She said, and handed them out.

~~~

A knock sounded on my door the next morning after breakfast. I went and answered it.
"There are a lot of things I need to address tonight, and I'm not sure how to do it." Archer said, coming into my room, hands running through hair in stressed confusion.
"Just address them." I muttered, going back to my book on my bed.
"It's not that simple." He said, sitting on my bed too.
"Okay, so what do you need to address?" I asked, closing the book.
"Well the stupid thing that happened with Taylor. Evangeline too. What happened with your father. And also your mother." He said, I looked down. "I know you don't want me to." He said, taking my hand.
"If it needs to be addressed then it needs to be addressed. Has my father told you who he's working for?" I asked.
"No. He's the only one who knows too." Archer muttered. I bit the inside of my lip. I couldn't believe my father. Archer pulled me into his lap, and I laid my head on his shoulder.  "I love you, you know that? I'm not going to let you go." He said. I nodded.  "Are you okay?" He asked.
"Not really. I don't really want to go to the News today. I just don't want to do anything." I said. He squeezed me a little tighter, and I sighed.
"It's okay you know. Things will get better."
"How do you know?" I asked.
"Well I...I don't. But you're such a strong girl." He said. I bit my lip.
"I'm really not." I said.
"You watched your best friend get beaten and did something about it. You stood up to my father when he talked to you."
"Archer I'm the weakest person I know. I cry all the time, I couldn't do anything about Harmonia  when things went wrong. I feel week, and I feel like i can't do anything at all. I'm disappointing my siblings. I'm just so confused." I said. Archer looked at me. He leaned down and kissed me. I pulled out of the kiss.
"What? What did I do?" He asked.
"I just said I was confused!" I exclaimed.
"I thought that might help, I don't know what I was thinking." He said. I slipped out of his arms.
"It didn't make things worse, I just don't think it's going to make things better." I said, folding my arms across my chest.
"You're getting so defensive." He said.
"I can't get hurt anymore Archer. I just can't do it." I said.
"You're not going to get hurt!" He exclaimed.
"What about the rest of the girls here?" I asked.
"You say the word and they all go home!" He told me. I bit my bottom lip.
"Evangeline? Tink? Taylor?" I asked.
"Taylor can go, Tink can go!" He exclaimed.
"Evangeline?" I asked again.
"S-she..." he looked down. I pulled my legs to my chest. "Listen, Amberlyn I can explai-"
"Just go." I said.
"Lynnie..." he looked at me with pain in his eyes. I turned away. I didn't want to see his face. I heard him get up and the door shut. I pulled out my mothers journal and grabbed a pen. I just started to write.
"You're just like me you know. Writing out your feelings." I heard her voice in my head.
"I'm ignoring you." I said.
"Why don't you want to listen to me?" She asked.
"Because you don't exist anymore. Because none of what you're saying is real." I said.
"You're getting so defensive." She said.
"Stop that! Stop making me feel bad!" I yelled. The journal fell on the floor in my rage, and flipped to the back. A few words were written on the back page. I picked it up.

"This isn't the end. There's another journal hidden in my old carpet bag. Underneath the bottom layer of the bag."

I stood up and grabbed the carpet bag from the corner of my room. I placed objects in it on the desk, and tried to grip the bottom layer. Finally getting a grasp on it, I pulled it out. Underneath lay hundreds of pictures, and a book. I picked it up and flipped the cover open.