Book Of Narratives

Fear of Rejection

Alone.

No one is here.

No one but me.

A huge barren white room, no, more like an empty bright void of nothing, that blinds me to no end. It is stripped, completely bare.

I cannot see anything.

There is no one here.

I am scared. I am scared I'll disappear. I am nervous I will get swept away so far, that I'll never be able to find myself. Ever again.

While other people go on with there lives; going to college, having their dream job, taking one giant leap to live on my their own.

While I stand still.

Right here.

Stuck with no possible way out.

No matter how loud I scream to the top of my lungs, in this huge crowd of life, they won't hear me. No one can here me. I am the quiet girl with the loudest voice. And yet, no one knows I am here.

I may as well be invisible.

I am invisible.

I run and I run and I run, run to get to the opening. But no matter how far I sprint or how fast I move, the distance stays the same.

I cannot stop.

I am going in a circle. This way and that. But I don't find any way out. I am confused. One flash here, then it's gone. Another flash there, but that goes.

There's no way out.

I am trapped...

....I think I have a fear of rejection and loneliness.

I have friends, yes, but I am alone.

I feel like I am going mad.

But the truth is, when you have friends yet you feel alone, you just know. And maybe I am being silly, but I am being completely honest.

I am as dense as a solid, as ugly as a duckling, as weak as a new born baby. I just wish I was...different.

Brave.

Confident.

Smart.

All the things I want to be, but am not.

Insecurities that will never leave me.

What's the point in living if you go round in endless circles. I am dizzy, getting faint, but no one can see, no one knows this feeling.

And I may be being silly.

But I know you don't understand.

You don't understand what people like me go through, that we suffer in silence.

But it's okay, cause I don't understand you either.

So, it's okay.

Cause now we are even.

We are different, yet we are the same...

We, we are the same.