the roommate ➸ [horan au]

eight

E I G H T 

- A b b y  J o n e s - 

My date with Harry sucked to say the least. Yes, he was being a gentlemen. Yes, he looked good and dressed nice. Yes, he asked me a lot about myself.

But he just wasn't Niall.

I tried to hide my disappointment during our dinner and I managed to pull a fake smile and laugh every once in a while.

Every time I would look up at the curly haired boy, I couldn't help but imagine the Irish boy in his place. I knew that I was falling deeper for Niall. Every night, I would dream of his flawless complexion, his bleach blond hair, and oh, so amazing body. Every morning, I would get to see all of that in real life and I didn't know how I got so lucky to be able to have him in my life.

Although I had hard feelings for Niall, I knew I couldn't do anything about it. None of us wanted to jeopardize our friendship and I didn't want things between us to get awkward. No matter how much I wanted him, I coulnd't have him.

And it was killing me on the inside. 

At the end of the night, when our date finished, Harry offered to take me back to his place. I knew what he wanted, and I just wasn't ready for that. I claimed that I had a long day and that I was tired, so he just ended up driving me back home.

He offered to walk me up to my apartment, but I declined his offer. I knew that he wanted to kiss me so he'd be able to see me again, but I didn't think I would be going out with him again. Harry was nice and all, but I just didn't think I'd be able to get over Niall. I quickly kissed Harry's cheek and left his car without another word as I sped up the stairs to my apartment.

Once inside, I noted that all of the lights were turned off and I figured that Niall would be sleeping. I looked around the apartment until I looked eyes with myself in my reflection in the mirror at the end of the hallway.

Who was that? That wasn't me. 

I kept staring at my reflection as I raised my hand to cover my mouth. An involuntary sob left my lips and I started shaking uncontrollably. Everything that happened since college had started was so overwhelming. I felt myself sliding to the floor and I gathered my knees to my chest as I buried my head into my knees and started crying into them.

I was aware of a door opening and closing, but I chose to ignore it. I couldn't believe that I let myself change for a boy. A boy. I vowed to myself that I would never change for anyone, let alone a boy. But this wasn't just any boy, it was Niall. It was my Niall. The boy who I had a crush on for the longest time, but sadly couldn't do anything about it.

Speak of the devil. 

"Abby?" Niall knelt down next to me as I kept on crying. I was scared to look at him, at his beautiful face, because if I did, I knew that I would let all of my feelings out; I would tell him that I was falling for him. "W-what's wrong?"

I felt his hands on my shoulders and he pulled me into him. He wrapped his strong arms around me as he stroked my hair soothingly. I buried my face in his chest and sobbed into it. He pulled me closer as he whispered soothing words into my ear.

"What happened?" He asked me once I calmed down a bit. "What did he do to you? Where did he hurt you-"

I shook my head violently. "He didn't." I cried out as I clung to him. "He didn't do anything." I couldn't stop shaking as I wiped my eyes with the back of my hands.

I felt Niall's hand on my chin and he lifted my head up to look him in the eyes. "Tell me what's wrong, please." He begged.

I looked down at my dress. I felt disgusting. I couldn't believe that just a few hours ago, I tried seducing Niall with this dress and I felt horrible. How could have I been so careless? I started tugging at the dress furiously, the hem of it started tearing and once Niall realized what I was doing, he grabbed my wrists in order to stop me.

I fell limp in his arms and I leaned back against him before I started crying into his shoulder, again. "I'm s-sorry."

"For what?" His eyebrows furrowed in confusion. "Abby, what are you sorry for?"

"This isn't me."

"Hey, hey, hey," He tried to get my attention. I looked up to see a sympathetic look on his face. "I just want to let you know that you look beautiful no matter what you wear. You were always beautiful and you always will be." He reached his hands up and gently cradled my face. "You're my best friend and you're beautiful and I love you."

I felt my heart sink. His 'I love you' was a different version of mine; his was friendly, almost brotherly, whilst mine was real, romantic and unconditional.

I leaned my forehead against his and I could once again feel his warm breath on my face. "I love you too."

"Please don't beat yourself up over what you look like. Heck, I think you look stunning when you walk into the kitchen in the morning in only shorts and a baggy stained tee shirt." He chuckled.

I pulled away from him in order to get a better look of his flawless face. "You really think so?"

"Absolutely. You're beautiful," He repeated it for the millionth time. "And you don't need to change for anyone ever, 'cause I love you the most when you're yourself, and so does everyone else."

I could feel my heart beating in my chest, it felt like it was going to break my rib cage. His words both healed me and hurt me in so many ways that I couldn't even explain it. No matter what he said and how much he meant it, I knew he'd never have the same feelings that I have for him.

"C'mon, let's get you to bed, it's late." He stood up and pulled me up with him. He lead me to my room and pulled me over to my bed. I sat down and stared at him, speechless. I didn't know what to say. "What?" Niall questioned my silence.

"Oh, uh, I-" I stuttered as I tried to compose myself as best as I could. "Thank you."

"For what?" His grin made butterflies erupt in my stomach. He was killing me, and he didn't even know it.

"For being my best friend."

I didn't think it was possible for the smile on his face to get any wider. His eyes sparkled with happiness as he leaned down and placed a soft kiss on my forehead. His lips lingered for a second and I wondered if he was aware of my feelings for him and if he was doing this in order to tease me, but I knew him better, he was a better person than that.

"You're very welcome." He patted my head playfully. "Now, get to bed, don't want you sleeping in too long!" He winked before turning towards my bedroom door.

I stared at my hands as I listened to his footsteps. They stopped. "Abby?" I looked up to see him standing by the door, with a small smile on his face.

"Yeah?"

"Goodnight." He whispered as he turned around and closed the door right behind him.

I sighed as I fell back in bed.

"Goodnight, Niall."

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