Blindsided

02 - The Beginning

Jared drove me home after school—my dad's truck was in the shop, so he had taken mine to work for the day. I didn't mind spending time with Jared. It mostly consisted of us sitting in silence, but I needed that today.  

After answering that question in English class, I felt riled up. Thinking about everything my mom had done to me over the years usually did that to me. And for the first time since I can remember, Jared actually picked up on my bad mood.

"You okay? You've been bitchy since this morning," he pointed out. Not only was the spark gone, but it seemed like he was constantly striving to put it out further. The fact that he asked me if I was okay and didn't just point out that I was bitchy was surprising. 

I shrugged as I looked out the window. The drive back to my place wasn't particularly exciting. It was mostly just fields and trees. But anything was better than having to look at Jared's judgemental expression.

"If you don't want to talk about it, that's fine. I just wanted to make sure I didn't do something," he spoke softly. He continued to surprise me today. Not only was he asking if I was okay, but he said it with little to no sarcasm. 

It wasn't that I thought he didn't care about me—he just never showed it. So the fact that he was now instantly improved my mood. "Is there a reason I should think you did something?" 

I said it with a grin, but his face suddenly fell and he wouldn't meet my eyes. "Of course not. Just covering all of my bases." He said it quickly, grabbing my hand. The contact was practically foreign. It had been forever since he had touched me other than to take my clothes off. 

"Are you okay, Jared? You seem...off," I asked. He nodded softly, clearly not listening. I shrugged and dropped the conversation, weaving my fingers between his. "I forgot to tell you, but Kristina was looking for you at lunch. Did she ever find you?"

For some reason, that was what caught his attention. His head snapped to me and I had to force him to look at the road again. "What did she say to you?" 

"She just told me that she needed to talk to you about a project or something. What the hell is going on with you? You're so on edge," I snapped. This wasn't unusual; the constant turning on one another. If neither of us were getting mad at the other, it was a miracle.

He narrowed his eyes and shook his head. Taking a deep breath seemed to calm him down before he opened his mouth to speak. "I just don't think you should be talking to Kristina. She always had something nasty to say about you, and you don't need to hear that."

The fact that I was worried about my boyfriend because he was being nice to me should have been a red flag for me. But I was always one for ignoring the signs.  

~~~

When I started school in Burton, I was excited for about the first five minutes. And then the fact that everyone was looking at me and whispering became suffocating.

Kids were saying that I was the spoiled rich kid that had moved into the Miller Mansion. Everyone knew my Grandparents because they volunteered so much, but they never knew me. So I was the outsider, the one who replaced the beloved couple that owned the house that kids would visit on mother's day to make a bouquet for their mom.

I thought that I could handle the rumours and the lies, until I overheard a girl saying that I was the one that killed them. I went home and I cried in my mother's lap. So she made cookies and lemonade and brought me out to the gazebo to watch the sunset together. When a breeze blew past us, the smell of lavender told me that Grandma was there with me.