Blindsided

19

A/N: Thank you for all of the comments! Next update out Wednesday (13).

...

My legs were moving, but I had no idea where they were taking me. At first, I had set out to find Simon. After what felt like hours of searching, I had given up and found a quiet corner to watch the beer pong tournament from. I could still feel the heat of Aiden's body pressed against mine, his fingers digging into my skin with a burning need.

I had never kissed anyone other than Jared. And if the guilt wasn't eating away at me, I think I would still be riding off a hot high. I had used someone that I would consider a friend to take away the burden that I felt was suffocating me. I felt like a terrible person, and I was one. There was no excuse for taking advantage of someone like that, and if the roles were reversed, Aiden would be bleeding in a closet right now.

But it had felt so good. To forget, even just for a second. To let everything float off for an incredible, simple minute. And I would be lying if I said I didn't want to do it again.

But then I remembered the heat that I had felt in that one moment, and for some insane reason, my mind drifted back to Simon. Not only to the fact that by kissing Aiden, I had completely gone against any warning that Simon had given me. But because my body wanted that heat with Simon, and I was having a hard time convincing myself that wasn't what I actually wanted.

I wanted him to look at me like he had looked at Aliza. I wanted to feel that same electricity I had felt last night when he had touched me. And more than anything, I wanted to feel the same intensity that I had with Aiden. I had a feeling that it would be a whole new kind of feeling, and that scared the crap out of me.

I loved Simon like he was family, and it felt like I always had. I didn't want to ruin that, but I also didn't know what to do around him anymore. It felt just as suffocating to not tell him how I felt about him as it did to keep the rest of the drama from him. And I didn't even know what those feelings were. There was a number of reasons that I had suddenly become attracted to my best friend, and each one was scarier than the next.

On one hand, Jared and I had always been physical. Our break-up might have taken a different kind of emotional toll on my body than I had initially thought and I was just now realizing that I wasn't going to trust anyone like that for a long time. I trusted Simon with my life, so maybe this insane hormone tidal wave was my way of realizing that he was someone that I could trust.

I needed to talk to the girls. I checked the clock on my phone and decided that they would probably still be awake seeing as I was three hours ahead of them. I saw a text from my dad telling me to be safe, but other than that, there weren't any texts from my friends freaking out that one of them was in jail for killing Jared or something.

I stood from my hiding place in the corner of the room and maneuvered around the random college students, 'accidentally' elbowing a guy in the ribs when his hands lingered a little too long when I passed him. I decided that privacy wasn't worth the frostbite that I would get from standing outside during this phone call, so I found a very cramped closet and locked myself inside.

Moira picked up on the first ring. "Paige! Chasing tail going good?"

I rolled my eyes and realized that she was probably on her double date. "I'm sorry, Moira. I forgot that you had a date tonight. I'll call you back in the morning."

"No, no! We're just hanging out in the stables while we fill the horse's water," she explained. Now that I listened to the noise coming through the phone, I could hear the sound of animals in the background.