Classic Rock One Shots

Roger Taylor #2

"So, what do ya' guys think?" Roger asked, looking to the other three bandmates. 

The four boys of Queen were sat around the studio in plush chairs, listening to the song Roger had just written. "Guys! Guys!" Roger exclaimed, bouncing up to them. "I wrote a song!" He smiled proudly, holding a tape in his hand. 

"It's..." Brian started. "Good. " John finished quickly. "Yes! Good!" Brian nodded. "Freddie?" Roger looked up to the emotional singer. His arms were crossed and a concerned look was painted across his face. 

"What the hell was that?" He responded honestly. The two others looked relieved that someone had the heart and gull to say what they were really thinking to the temperamental drummer. "Muh-my song." Roger stood to meet his height, trying to intimidate the tall front man.

"What exactly are you doing with that car?" He asked, a bored look resting on his features. "What the hell does that mean?" Roger's face contorted in confusion and anger. "It's as bit subtle, is all I'm saying." 

"It's a metaphor!" He retorted, throwing his arms up in defense. John pursed his lips and raised his eyebrows when Roger shot him a look. "You're the one who wants to fuck a bike!" Roger yelled angrily. 

"Why don't you gits calm down?" Brian stood between the two, holding his arms out. "Shut up Brian!" The two yelled in unison. "John, Fred, Brian, Rog, Eric from EMI is here to discuss the album." Miami poked his head into the room, interrupting the arguing boys. 

"Bohemian Rhapsody?" He questioned, looking up from the documents Miami typed up the day before. "Yeah." Freddie nodded. The boys, Miami, and Eric went back and forth about the song being too long before Eric gave in. He said that as long as they had a short hit on the B side, he would swing their deal. 

"Do you have a song to review ready, or do you just want to send it over?" Before anyone else could open his mouth, Roger answered with "yes!" Freddie shot him a pointed look. "Well then let's hear it!" 

Roger happily hopped over to the stereo and plunged in his newly recorded song. He sat on the plush couch with a large smile branding his pale face. Plopping down next to Brian, he looked at him excitedly. 

"I like it." Eric nodded. Roger's content face filled John with annoyance, as the song was odd and disturbing to him. Freddie was also annoyed, rolling his eyes when Eric suggested it be the A side of Borhap. 

"No, no, no, no, Bohemian Rhapsody is the A side! It's the single, and we will not have it any other way." Brian spoke up, crushing Roger in the process. 

After much deliberation and annoyance, the original deal was swung again. With Eric quickly leaving the studio, Roger was once again pissed and dejected. 

With his bruised ego and pressed nerves, Roger pursued Freddie, who was walking into the recording studio to clean up. "What the fuck, Fred?" He asked angrily. "The song is shite!" Freddie scoffed. 

Brian nodded along with what he said. "Oh fuck off!" He rolled his eyes. "I guess it's no "You call me sweet like I'm some kind of cheese" or "waltzing off to the zoo"." He riposted. "Yeah, it's not." Brian added in. 

"It must be the B side." Roger demanded. "No." Roger sulked to the opposite side of the room, sitting next to John on the couch. "Is the song really that bad?" Roger asked quietly. "Honestly?" John asked hesitantly. Roger nodded sincerely. 

"I would rather be strung up by my ankles in the middle of the words and disemboweled with a wooden cooking spoon and slowly bleed out than listen to that again. I am ashamed that I agreed to play an instrument on that cursed track." John rambled, making eye contact while speaking unfeigned. 

Roger looked crestfallen as he brooded. That only lasted a second, as anger quickly bubbled to the surface. "Freddie, let me have the B-side." He stated annoyingly. "No, the B side is Best Friend." Freddie answered curtly. 

"I'm in Love With my Car is the B side." Roger demanded. "No Roger." Brian interjected. "Give me the B side." He demanded once more, mirroring an angry child. "You're not getting the B side. Give it up, Darling." 

"It's not strong enough, Roger." Brian stated, getting sick of his shit. Roger dropped the section he was re-spraying and angrily sprayed Brian.
Roger huffed and walked away, still spraying his now crunchy hair.

Brian's face was left with a "really bitch?" Look. Wiping away the hairspray.

"Alright, let's record the music tracks for Sunday Afternoon." Brian stood, rubbing his hands together. His clogs clacked against the floor as John and Freddie trailed behind him. Roger begrudgingly also followed. 

"John, that was incredible!" Brian smiled as the shy bassist finished up his last line. "Thanks, Bri." He smiled, aplomb. "Alright Rog, it's your turn! Let's get this done!" Brian clapped his hands together as the band looked to the still miffed drummer. 

"Rog?" He prodded. He crossed his arms and stayed put. "Oh god..." He mumbled. "C'mon, stop!" John grumbled. "I won't put any effort into this band until this puts effort into me!" He dramatically exclaimed. "Oh shut up Rog, you sound like a bloody woman!" Freddie rolled his eyes. 

"Oh that's real rich!" He yelled back, standing from his chair. Walking to the row of large oak cupboard, he swung open a door. "Roger, what the bloody hell are ya doin'?" John asked, looking at the idiot. 

"You stupid bastard, get outta there!" Brian demanded as he slammed the door behind him. "No!" He retaliated from behind the locked cupboard door. "Goddammit!" Brian leaned back in his chair, covering his face in frustration. 

An hour and a half had gone by before anyone had spoken to anyone except the blond in the cupboard. "Roger, come on!" Brian yelled for the sixth time in twenty minutes. "No!" Roger yelled back for the sixth time in twenty minutes. 

"You couldn't just let him have the fuckin' B side, could you?" He asked, looking defeatedly to Freddie. "I gotta get home, Veronica is waiting up for me." Deaky looked at his watch as he stood from his armchair. "Me too man." Brian joined him. 

"You can't just leave me here with that raving loony, he'll take my bloody head off!" Freddie protested as they stood at the door. "You caused it, so you fix it." Brian stated as he and John walked out the door. 

As the door to the studio closed behind the two exhausted men, Freddie became immediately annoyed. "Roger, come out of that cupboard!" Freddie commanded. Silence. 

"You are such a petty bastard." Freddie scoffed and rolled his eyes. He sat on the floor next to the door of the cabinet Roger had locked himself in. 

"When will you come out of this bloody cabinet?" Freddie asked after five minutes of silence. "When I'm in Love With my Car is the B side." Roger was sit in the cupboard, his arms around his shins, resting his head on the wall.  

Freddie sighed, becoming angrily impatient. "Fine. You can have the B side." He caved. 

The cupboard door swung open and the blond came tumbling out. Freddie once again rolled his eyes at the ridiculous man they all revered as a serious and talented drummer. 

"Thank you very much, Mr. Mercury." Roger commented as he made his way out the door of the studio. 

I'm sorry if this sucks, I wrote it at 3 in the morning