17. Thick and Thin

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It's finally time for the big game, and the whole school is feeling the spirit. I'm no different, I'm dressed in red and white too, even if the only reason I have to go is to cheer on Brent. He's been telling me how nervous he is between make out sessions, so I told him he can't afford to lose or I won't think he's cool anymore. It's just a joke, even though I'm pretty sure he's going to do his best to impress me anyway. Things have stayed pretty much the same since that day on the field last week, with the addition of a few new activities to pass the time, of course. Brent's determined, it didn't take him long to figure out just how to kiss me to drive me crazy.

He's definitely in my head, especially since his notes have been far more romantic lately. I can't stop reading over the one he left for me this morning, and I'm glad I sit in the back during first period so no one sees how I'm blushing. His note says he can't stop thinking about kissing me. I can't stop thinking about it either. The reply I compose is met with equal sap, but I also add in a part at the end to encourage him for the state conference. I swear it seems like the end of the world to the guys on the football team, I figure he can use all the reassurance he can get.

When the bell rings I head straight to his locker, rushing so I'll beat him there. This is another thing we've learned how to get away with, so I check to make sure no one's paying attention before I slip the folded up paper through the slats. That's the beauty of being a Loser, I really am invisible. As much as I'd love to stand around and wait for him, my job is done and I hurry away before any of the Populars start to show up. I barely pay attention as second period begins because I can't stop worrying about how I won't get to spend any time with him today. He'll be too busy getting ready for the game, but knowing how happy he'll be when they win makes up for it.

I know Brent's not mine, at least not here at school, but I still can't help being proud of him. I've been catching myself all morning strutting through the halls, head held high, like I have any claim over him. No, here he belongs to Madison, and she'll be there tonight to cheer him on too. Stupid bitch. It's only going to piss me off to think about her, so I clear my mind and choose to think only of him as class ends. I push my way through to get out of the door first, hoping to find his reply waiting for me, yet my attempt at having a good day is foiled when I near my locker and spot Grace standing next to it, waiting. Even though I don't know what she wants I'm sure it won't end well, so I turn around quickly and try to get away before she catches me.

"Jonah, wait." Too late. Her call is clear through the hallway chatter, and I curse under my breath as I'm forced to face back around to greet her. She's not dumb, she knows I was trying to escape, but she chooses not to ask why. I think it's because she's afraid of the answer. "Look, this is stupid, we shouldn't be ignoring each other. It's been like two weeks, can we talk about this?"

"Talk about what? How you went and tattled on me to Ms. Montgomery? I thought you had my back, Grace, you're supposed to be my best friend." There's no point in being gentle about it, I figure it's better to just make myself clear from the start. I love her, of course I do, but I still feel hurt by what she did. Maybe it shouldn't be such a big deal when she had good intentions, but I used to always be able to trust her. Now she's looking down on me just like everyone else, trying to tell me how to live my life, and when that didn't work she thought she'd force my hand by going over my head. I can't understand why she'd do that, is she really that worried about me sneaking out of the fucking house?

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" Of course she takes it personally, just like I thought she would, making no actual attempt to understand how she made me feel. "I love you, but I'm not just going to stand there and smile when you want me to. I've had your back since day one, what makes you think that's changed? Yeah, I went and talked to Ms. Montgomery, but that's only because you didn't want to listen. Do you realize what could've happened to us when we got busted at that party? Everything we've been working for wouldn't mean shit, no way they'd let me into Stanford."

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