Not Another High School Love Story

24. One Last Time

Maybe it doesn't look like what everyone else has, but at the end of the day my relationship with Brent is the only thing that brings me any comfort. I'm happy right now, even though nothing's okay. After school I came straight home, I didn't bother checking in with Ms. Montgomery because there's no way in hell I'm going to hang out with her. My dad had been clear that he wouldn't be here, so it was the perfect opportunity to invite Brent over for a little quality time. I told him everything that's going on, about my mom being in town and about Queen. We talked about it for a while, but talking can only go so far, especially when there's nothing we can do, so we settled on making the most of our time together.

All the lights are out, but I lit a few candles and scattered them around my room. The speaker on my dresser is quietly playing a list of soft rock songs I created just for us, and just for a moment like this. There's even a gentle rain that taps on the window, helping set the mood. Everything inside this one room is perfect, even if the cruel reality is still waiting for me to open the door and let it in. I don't want to, I'd give anything to stay here forever with Brent. He wants me to stay too, but I can't stop what's coming. We haven't said anything to each other in a while, he's just been laying beside me, staring up at the ceiling as I stare over at him. I've got one hand on his chest and he has one on my back, but it won't be enough to keep me here.

He thinks I should just beg my dad to let me stay and promise to start listening, but he hasn't thought through the ramifications of that yet. It'd be one thing to stop sneaking out, or swear I won't go to anymore parties—even though I only went to the one—but it's gone way beyond that now. My dad doesn't want me seeing Brent anymore, he doesn't even want me talking to him, so promising to follow his rules means I have to give this up, and then what's the point of staying here anyway? I don't have the heart to tell Brent that, I don't want him to know how hopeless it is.

Besides, it's not the only thing we have to worry about, not when Queen's out there right now waiting for me to announce my biggest secret to the whole world. That seems to have Brent stumped more than anything, and like me he's unable to come up with a plausible solution. I can tell that's still what's on his mind, and eventually it causes him to leave me as he gets up to put his pants back on. He goes to sit in the chair at my desk to wiggle his feet into his socks, and I scoot to the edge of the bed to grab my underwear off the floor.

"Maybe it's not enough to threaten him, maybe we should actually beat the shit out of him, that ought to keep him quiet. I can probably get Marcus to do it." Brent proposes, leaning back in the seat while he waits for my approval. His pants are still unzipped and he leaves his shirt off, which makes it a little more difficult to concentrate on what he's saying, but I wouldn't have it any other way.

"What good will that do? If anything happens to him he'll out me for sure. It was stupid to even say all that stuff to him, I guess I wasn't thinking." I retreat to the corner of my bed and press myself into the wall with a sigh. In hindsight I hadn't handled that situation well, but for once I'm lucky enough that it didn't end up costing me. Not yet anyway, but I don't really know why I'm still trying to find a way out of this when it's obvious I only have one real choice.

"I'm glad you stood up to him, it's about fucking time. You said he's going to tell people anyway, we might as well try to shut him up before he starts running his mouth about us." Violence is still Brent's answer, and even though I want to agree with him—mostly because of how much I loathe Queen right now—I know it'll make everything so much worse in the end. I can't afford any more red marks on my record so close to graduation, my dad's not the only thing that can fuck up my future.

"We have to find another way, I just need to talk to him again, maybe I should tell Grace what's going on and see if she can help. But even if that doesn't work, I don't think you have to worry, he only wants to out me—not you." As much as I'd hate to go crawling back to Grace like this, it's the best alternative I've been able to come up with so far. Of course I have considered falling on my sword and just coming out before Queen can say anything. I could take away the power he thinks he has, but one of the biggest reasons I don't want to do that is because I know I'll have to say goodbye to Brent. All roads seem to keep leading back to sacrifice, and I guess I'm selfish.