Not Another High School Love Story

28. Normal

Despite the ongoing struggle of adapting to my new life, I'm glad things have started settling back down, at least for now. I'm learning a lot more about Ms. Montgomery than I ever thought I would, and it turns out she's actually pretty cool. Apparently she was somewhat of a rebel in her younger years too. I still get notes from Brent in my locker and we still sit up at night to talk on the phone, but things aren't completely the same with us either, we finally have a safe place to spend time together. It was weird at first, but then the strangeness faded and it all started to feel so, I don't know, almost normal.

Ms. Montgomery has her own rules, of course, so Brent and I have to get creative when we want to be intimate. I get it though, it's not that big of a deal and I'm honestly feeling so much better about my situation than I have been. Part of me even wants to say I'm happy, but I don't know if I can ever be that with what I've given up. I'm trying not to have any regrets, I did the best with what I had and it's not like there was much of a choice. For some reason I miss my dad, even after everything, but I guess it shouldn't be all that shocking. No matter what he said, he's still my dad.

I miss Grace too, especially now that I've moved on from all the pointless bullshit I was holding onto. I want to reconnect with her, but any time I work up the nerve I can't think of what to say. At least I'm working on it, right? Today I just want to count my blessings and focus on something that doesn't seem so life and death. Prom is right around the corner now, and I'm back to being like every other teenager in America as I make my decision on what to wear.

"Don't you look handsome?" Ms. Montgomery stands behind me, beaming like a proud parent while she needlessly brushes off the shoulders of the jacket I'm wearing. The tuxedo is nice but I feel a little guilty about how much it costs to rent, seeing how I'm not the one paying for it. Then again it hadn't been my suggestion, and I'm pretty sure she wouldn't have taken no for an answer. She's been bending over backwards trying to give me the senior year she thinks I deserve.

"I mean, it is nice, but are you sure?" This look really does suit me. The old me would've just slapped on anything, but now my peers expect me to look a hell of a lot better. I'm not the only one here, the shop is filled with a ton of kids from school looking to secure their outfits for what's probably the most important event in high school. So far I'm dressed better than any of the guys I've seen, which is a major plus, but I hate to hold my hand out. "You've already done enough for me, you don't have to do this."

"Listen to me, you only get one prom and we're going to do it right." Her hands drift down until they're on my arms, and she gives me a gentle rub. "Remind me to show you a picture of what I wore to my senior prom, trust me, you'll want to look back on this night without being embarrassed."

"What did you wear?" My curiosity is piqued and I flash her a skeptical grin. Whatever it was must've been terrible, because she immediately makes an exasperated face.

"A pantsuit." She laughs at herself, which is probably easier since I'm laughing too, but she still comes to her own defense quickly. "It was a different time back then, me and a couple of my girlfriends wanted to make a statement. Anyway, you get my point. I want to make sure this is special for you."

"Thanks." I turn to her and smile again, still not completely sure how to respond to a kindness I can only describe as unconditional. "For everything. To tell you the truth I wasn't even sure I wanted to go to prom, but I think you're right, I need to start living."

"I usually am." Ms. Montgomery jokes, beaming with that same pervasive pride. I think she meant it when she said I'm special, but I guess I'm not used to someone looking at me the way she is now—like I'm not a fuck up—which is all I ever really wanted from my dad. It seemed so hard to attain before, but she gives it freely when I'm not even trying. "It's good to be young, Jonah, like I said. Enjoy it while it lasts, you'll only get to experience it once."