Not Another High School Love Story

33. The Quarterback

It never fails, no matter what I try to do I always end up back in the same place, wishing things were different. For instance, I wish I could say this morning was a fluke, that things improved, but my day never really got any better than it began. Eventually I got used to the staring, but it probably helped that I had something else to keep me occupied. That something is Brent Fox, of course. Not only had he completely ignored me when I saw him before, but he continued ignoring me for the rest of the day. Even now he won't return my calls, he won't return my texts, and I'm starting to think I really have become invisible.

I watched him mess around with his friends on the lawn at lunch, no action there. I was hopeful he might find me after school while I was working on yearbook, but that was a bust too. As a last ditch effort I even went to baseball practice and waited, but it ended the exact same way. Ms. Montgomery asked me how school went, but I lied and told her it was fine, I don't want her worrying about it. Things have been quiet between us for the last hour or so, but she probably doesn't pay it much mind since I'm acting like I'm watching whatever's on the TV while she's curled up on the couch working on her laptop.

Waiting like this is so cruel, and I've almost broken down and asked her for advice at least ten times now, but I've been able to talk myself out of it so far. I can feel the urge rising up again, so I take out my phone instead, drafting another text to Brent that I'm sure he won't respond to. I linger a little too long before I send it and there's a knock on the door. Ms. Montgomery looks at me the same way I look at her, confirming that neither of us are expecting company, and then she gets up to go see who's come calling.

"Jonah, it's for you." She reveals. I shut the TV off and stand up, just in time as she comes back into the living room with Brent right behind her. Suddenly I'm good enough to earn his favor again, and he offers an apologetic gaze while he shoves his hands in his pockets. He doesn't say anything to me, and I don't say anything to him, but I do turn to glance at Ms. Montgomery, trying to send her a signal without seeming rude. Fortunately she's quick to the draw. "You boys should talk. If you need anything I'll be in the other room."

"So," I shrug when she's gone, subjecting him to my scrutiny. He owes me an explanation, but whatever it is won't take away my God-given right to be pissed. "Are you going to tell me what the hell's going on?"

"Don't be like that, I wasn't trying to be an asshole. What else am I supposed to do? We almost got caught and now Marcus is up my ass about the whole thing, I've got to lay low." Brent's already justified it in his mind, but in all that consideration it doesn't sound like he even bothered thinking where that would leave me.

"This is what you call laying low? I get that you're worried, but what about me? It's been a pretty shitty day, Brent, being ignored doesn't make it better." So many things have already gone wrong but I tell myself it's all in my head, I'm making it worse than it has to be. I try to be patient, I'm hoping for a perfect answer to dissipate the nagging sense of infidelity I have.

"I know it was hard for you, it killed me to stay away, but if we're not careful I'm going to end up in the same boat. What's the point in both of us taking shit? I came over as soon as I could to see how you're doing. I'm here, aren't I?" He steps forward like everything's okay, like I'm going to melt in his arms the same way I always do, like he's still my hero and I don't see through the cracks in his armor. Shockingly I'm not very comforted, and the hand he places on my hip when he steps forward doesn't feel as good as it's supposed to.

"Barely." I tell him quietly, averting my eyes as he waits for me to say something, to forgive him. When I don't his hand falls away and we're left in a perfectly painful silence until I can bring myself to begin again with honesty. "I told you it was going to get bad. I told you to leave if that's what you wanted, but you said you'd stay."