i keep replaying every wonderful thing you've ever done.
a year ago on monday,
i woke up in a panic.
and you found me,
siting at my kitchen table,
crying,
numb,
in a state of dangerous vulnerability.
and you put one hand on my head,
one under my chin,
and you said
it's never as bad as you think it'll be.
i've been waking up in a panic
every
single
day
for 6 months.
and now you're in rockhampton,
spending time with your family when you're not in chemotherapy,
and you're still wonderful.
it's back and it's worse than ever.
the cancer,
the anxiety,
the pain.
i love you neat.
