The Girl I Never Loved.

Chapter 18

Khizar's POV.
I was left shocked. My eyes went to see her who was lost in sleep but her those written words were snatching my every second of peace and sleep. I was still not believing on what I was reading. What was revealing to me, was blocking my all senses of thinking.

Taking a deep breath, I looked down again at the diary which I was holding. With a deep breath out, I turned to the next page to see more shocks but now I had to know all. I had to know all about this girl who was the girl I never knew, I guessed and I never loved.

"Sometimes I think what are these feelings of mine for you. For you Khizar, my love increases with every passing second of my life. I juts don't have control on myself, on my feelings. I feel weak in front of your love which is deeply in my heart.

Since childhood to now, when we are grown up and I can see you becoming more handsome day by day and I'm finding myself falling for you again and again. But still I found myself at distance from you like the very first day. I'm still so far from you where I couldn't touch your heart.

I wonder, how can you be so unaware of my feelings for you. Can't you see the love in my eyes for you. Can't you feel my eyes on you. Can't you hear my heartbeat which increased wherever I see you. Can't you see my smile when I see you smiling. Can't you see your favourite colour on me everyday. Can't you just look into my eyes for once to see the love I'm hiding in my heart for you. I'm hiding an ocean of love for you Khizar in my heart. I wish I could tell you that how much I love you. But I know you're never going to know about the love I do. I will always remained the girl, you never loved and not even noticed."

Shocked on the words, my eyes again moved to see her who moved a little in her sleep and turned to face me. My eyes roamed on her face which was looking stressed still in the sleep. I could see that in her sleep, she was going through some stress.

“Khizar.” Her lips moved in sleep but this time, I could understand the whisper her lips made.

A silent tear escaped from her left eye and again, I heard her taking my name. Getting up, I placed that diary on the chair, I was sitting and walked to her who was giving me shocks on shocks. Taking seat just in front of her, I just kept looking at the face which I never noticed neither looked like I was looking at now. Removing her hair strand from her temple, I kept looking at her wet lashes. My eyes roamed on her face which was looking so pale and weak.

“Why Haya? Why this much love?” I whispered looking at her who was revealing her world of heart to me where I only could see myself and nothing else.

Sighing, I walked back to the chair to read more about this silly girl. Looking at her once, I opened the diary and turned the next page to read more about her craziness and stupidity.

"Khizar you've made my day. That smile of yours just took my heart again and the beat of my heart was loud that i got scared that you will hear it but thankfully you didn't. I'm stupid I know but for you I can and will always be stupid. That smile of yours appeared when I made your favourite breakfast of Halwa puri and you know since long, I'm making this special breakfast only for you, just to see you happy. But I know, you thinks that its your khala who do this.

From your room cleanings to clothes washing, water to dinner your every work is my duty and i love to do all this without telling you. Your all gifts which you received since childhood with the name of your khala were also sent by me.

Your every work I do and you thinks that its your khala doing, keeping an eye on your every problem doing things to make you happy but it was always me Khizar who can't see you in pain or in any trouble. Its me who can't bear a single tear in your eyes. Its your Haya who can do anything to just see you smiling my life. And I'm happy hidden behind Ami. It doesn't mattered if you thinks that its ami doing your works becsuse it gives you happiness and that's all I want. Sometimes, I wonder what will be your reaction when you will come to know about all this and most of it your favourite morning tea is also made by me. That special tea which you love,I'm making for you since childhood. Only for you and you like always thinks it is Ami who makes this tea for you. How stupid you are but still I love your this stupidity because it shows that how innocent  you are. I love your every phase, every look ,every word.