Conditional Love

Chapter 32

Chapter 32

**| Sang's POV |**

I pace the length of my bedroom, trying to stomp out the hurt that I felt.

Once a whore. Always a whore.

I can't believe I did that with North. And Luke and Gabe saw. They had no problem realising their friend went down on me. My skin flushes as my temperature spikes up, thinking about North's face buried between my legs. He was so damn good. Better than I expected. There is something hot about seeing a huge man willing to go down on you.

Only a slut like you will want to do that again.

I tug at my hair, hoping her voice will go away. I don't mean to be like this. I don't want to. But the act, the feelings. She isn't there when I'm having sex. Her voice is silent when someone pounds into me. When I orgasm, thoughts of her don't even exist. She's not even a blip on my radar.

I let out a frustrated moan as I swallow the hurt I felt when Luke and Gabe found us.

They don't care. They didn't care. All they could think about was having a turn. I should have known better. I'm so stupid. I'm always so stupid.

When I get sick of walking back and forth, and wearing down my carpet, I go to the window and glance out. There isn't much of a scene. Brick buildings sit across the road from me, and the street itself is almost dark, two of the bulbs on the street lights having gone out a couple weeks ago. I don't see them being fixed anytime soon.

Movement catches my eyes and I observe as a man climbs out of an old car, blending in with the surrounding vehicles. He stops to stare up at my apartment. My scalp prickles as I take him in, the street lights giving me just enough to see the flash of glasses, and the familiar lean figure.

Kota

What is he doing here?

They'll just keeping coming back for more. Once they realize you're willing to put out, they'll line up at your door for more.

I shake my head. No way. Kota can't be like that too. Can he? Is he expecting to have his turn now?

Anger flares up through my chest and my hands clench at my side. How dare he!

I shove my feet into my sneakers, grab my keys and phone and storm out of my apartment, pausing only long enough to lock my door. My feet thunder against the wood steps as I run down the stairs, my breathing heavy.

My right shoulder hits the door first, and I ignore the pain as I finally get it to shove open. I pause long enough on the porch to find Kota by his car still, looking down at his phone.

"Kota Lee!" I snap out as I charge toward him. His head snaps up and his eyes widen when he sees me come after him. I hold onto any dignity I have left, straighten my body so he knows I mean business, and go into his person space.

"What? Are you here for a turn too?" I ask.

His eyes widen even more as he steps back, red coloring his cheeks. His mouth pops opens and then closes. He doesn't say anything. He must be here thinking he can get his turn then. Bile churns in my stomach and the blood leaves my face.

I stagger away from him, not expecting the truth to hurt so much. I thought at least he would be different. He always seems sweet, considerate.

Do they really think that of me?

"What? No, Sang. No, that's not why I'm here." He sounds sincere, but at this point I don't trust my own emotions. I feel like I'm all over the place.