survival

the low road

"Been on this bloody boat-"

"It's only been a day, Meera," Grace snorted a bit. "Looks like those hormones are kicking in," she nodded towards my stomach with a wink accompanying it. "How're you feeling?"

"Fine," I waved her off, grimacing a bit as I sat up. I had dozed off for a bit in an empty area, blankets thrown about for us. I sighed, glancing up at my friend. "We close?"

"Should be," she nodded, squatting next to me. "How are you really feelin'?"

I sighed, frowning deeply before swiping a hand through my hair. "Honestly?" She nodded, eyes deeply piercing mine. "I'm feeling a lot. I-I'm scared. I'm very scared, Grace. Declan's left in Fort James, away from me- possibly us! I just found out that I could be pregnant and then-and then I'm stolen from my husband and land. So yeah, I'm scared and frazzled. I was fucking shot- so I'm in pain as well. So now I'm scared for Declan, scared this babe- if there even is a babe- is now in trouble since that man shot me. And I was stolen- literally stolen. I was fucking stolen like some goat from the front yard-"

"You're not a goat-"

"I'm scared, Grace," I snapped, eyes swelling, making her stop and look at me. "I'm scared. What's going to happen to me? Am I going to get an infection? Lose my babe? Lose my husband? Or what's going to happen when Benton has no more use of me with my whole 'innocent-bystander' ploy. He doesn't want dead weight or any more baggage. Or what's going to happen when he learns who I really am?"

Grace paused and stared at me. "I don't know," she whispered. "I don't know what's going to happen at all. So let's just work together to keep you alive and as relatively unknown for as long as possible."

"I guess but the times going to come for us to make a real decision. He's not going to keep me no matter what, the only way I can get through this is if they knew I was pregnant but then it begs the question of who the father is. We're fucked, Grace."

"I'll protect you," she promised, swearing to me. "I swear it, I'll help protect you as best I can. Now, come on. Let's get some sun, might make you feel better."

I sighed, snatching up her offered hand and allowing her to help heave me upwards. She offered a small smile before helping me stabilize myself before we were heading up towards the deck. I glared at all the men we were passing, one shoving a plate of food at the both of us. I rolled my eyes, following Grace. She offered me a seat on a few creates, sitting next to me before sighing.

I eyed the contents of our plate and had to physically hold in my tongue before I lose it. Maybe I was pregnant because never before had I ever complained about food I'd received. Living with Enut and Little Fish left me able to make damn nearly anything edible. So now, here I was with a plate full of bread, cheese, and a few fruits- nearly complaining!

Perhaps it was because I also did not trust this ship, the people on it, nor the intentions of anyone here. Nor did I trust where we were going and what was to become of us. Fuck, did I miss Declan. He'd know what to do, he always did.

"You're right," I smiled lightly, looking over at Grace. "Does make me feel a bit better. It's comforting to know Declan's watching the same sun rise, you know?"

"I do," Grace nodded, sighing sadly. I gazed over the horizon, feeling my smile drop. "What is it? What's wrong?"

"I miss him," I whispered, mouth spewing ribbons of mist around as the crisp air turned my breath frosty. "I miss him, Grace. I hope he's coming.." My one hand went to press into my tummy. "I want this babe, I want all them with Declan. I want to settle down somewhere, where we can be a family.. I can't do that if I'm on a ship going God-knows-where."