When I was three years old, my biological Mother was unwell and unfit to be a mother that she truly wanted to be. To this day, I don't hate her for what she did because I got My new Mom and a new life that I am very grateful for. She didn't leave me on the streets alone to die, she took me to a house of a woman who she knew would protect me. I can't fault her for that. I just hope I can meet her one day so I can thank her for giving me the best life I could ask for.
It was a wet, stormy night when my Biological Mother left me on my Mom's doorstep. At first she didn't realise I was there. She didn't see a person at the door when it was knocked at. My Biological Mother ran as soon as she knocked and left me there. At first my Mom didn't see me on the doorstep until I started to cry.
I may not have known what was happening at the time but I knew somewhere in my baby mind that my life was going to change and change for the better. It wasn't until she heard me cry that she realised I was there. I don't really think she knew what to do when she saw me but she knew she had to do something to keep me safe which is a reason I knew that she may not have been my biological Mom but she was going to be there to look after me and make sure nothing would ever harm me.
She brought me into the home, she didn't have to and to be honest, I don't think she ever thought she would have to but she fed me the formula I was left with and she found a piece of paper. A letter from my birth mother explaining the situation. I was three and I was happy to be warm and in a home that made me feel welcome.
I can't really explain the feeling but even for a three year old I understood how loving my Mom was. She helped me out of the wet clothes and took good care of me even though she didn't know me and she didn't know where I had come from.
To this day, I am incredibly grateful for my Mom even if I don't show it enough or tell her often but I am grateful she gave me a chance in her home instead of in the fostering system.
I was bubbly and also quiet, I curled up on the couch with her in my warm, dry clothes. My Mom read the letter, the letter that Mom gave to me when I was old enough to understand. I have it under my pillow and I read it from time to time. I even remember what it says:
Dear Lauren Cohan,
I'm sorry to drop this bombshell on you but I'm in a lot of trouble and had no other way of doing this. I didn't want to do this, I didn't want to give my baby up but I've been watching you for a few months and I know I can trust you.
Her name is Olivia Mae Hill, she is three years old and was born on 12th May 2003. She isn't allergic to anything as far as I know. She deserves to be loved the way I know you'll love her. Olivia deserves the best and I believe that with you, she will get that.
Olivia has a favourite monkey that comforts her, if she cries give it to her and she'll quieten down. She tends to sleep through the night but every so often wakes up crying. She has nightmares often and it's all due to the last three years of her life.
You see, my ex boyfriend was abusive to me and to Olivia. It got so bad, I couldn't risk putting her in any more danger. Also, I'm dying, I don't want to leave Olivia with an abusive dad after I'm gone.
You're the only one I can trust. You don't know me, but I know you. Thank you so much. This means a lot to me. Just please tell Olivia all about me when she grows up. There's a picture attached to this letter. Make sure she knows I love you.
Thank you forever,
Cleo Hill
After reading the letter, my Mom turned to me. "So Olivia, what do you like to do?" She asked me.
"Dog." The three year old me replied with a clap and scampering off to play with my toys that were spread out. I remember, I had a small dog figure that I used to play with a lot that I held in my hands. I never let anyone play with it except my Mom.
"Do you want me to play with you?" She asked me and I nodded. She kneeled on the floor opposite me and I put the dog figure in her hands. "Do you know what sound a dog makes?" She asked with a cock of the head.
"Woof." I giggled as a three year old would.
"Clever girl." I smiled and I knew that I was finally safe. I was going to be the best daughter I could be to the woman who took me in without question. I couldn't ask for a better Mom. She may not be by blood but she definitely is in so many other ways. Despite being an acts with a high priority schedule, she always made time to spend to be with me when I needed her. My Mom is my hero.
