Taciturn | Min Yoongi

IV

Diary Entry 004
4th November, 5:23 pm

Love. What is it? It's a powerful emotion. It's that emotion which could kill and save a life. Love could drive you to madness, insanity and all the syoynoms of lunacy. Love can be seen in all forms. It can be shown towards a living thing to another living thing or even from a living thing to a non-living thing.

Who are we to judge who should love another? We have our own lives to live. We don't know what will happen next yet we command to one another as of we are superior to them on on how they should like their lives.

If a man or woman is attracted to another man or woman, so what? If a man or woman is attracted to both man and woman, so what? It's their lives, we shouldn't judge. Yes, we have our freedom of speech but our voice shouldn't cause pain to another.

It may seem weird to one but to those in love it seems normal and that is love. It'll drive you crazy, it will make you do extraordinary things for the people you love but love doesn't make you change yourself for others. That is called obsession. That is puppy love in simple terms.

There is fine difference between love and obsession. In love, there is balance between both parties and in obsession there is no equilibrium from both parties. There is imbalance.

You don't need to go through a heartbreak by relationship with your significant other to know what love feels like. We are loved since we are entered into this world. We are loved by our family. And we can feel pain and heartbreak from our families. As sometimes the people who you love the most can hurt you the most. This isn't only applied to our blood families but to all those who make us feel like family. Blood or not.

It was obvious that my brothers are tangled in complex love triangle. From my observation, I'm pretty sure Namjoon has the hots for Seokjin Hyung but I'm not sure his feelings are mutual. I'm sure that Namjoon is aware of it and he won't let his feelings act as a hindrance between his and Seokjin Hyung's relationship. Seokjin Hyung on the hand likes someone else but I'm not sure who.

All I can hope for them is to resolve this comflict maturely without any tears in our relationship with one another. I hope that Namjoon would find someone who loves him and treats him how he should be treated. For living with him for more than 8 years, I've realised that he is a sweet angel with an innocence of a 5 year old trapped in a giant body of a 24 year old. He  needs to be loved and listened. I hope he won't die without encountering intimate love.

I hope Hyung and Hoseok find love too. Everyone deserves to be loved. I hope I find love too. I don't care of I fall in love with a man or a woman. I I want to fall in love with a person who'll accept me for what I am and will always look past the countless flaws I have. I hope the universe shall be good to us.

I want Kookie to fall on love too. I want him to fall in love with a person who'll adore and love him forever and I want his significant other to look past his looks and flaws. I want them to help each other and love each other.

Those are my wishes and I hope they do come true but we just have to wait on luck and time. I hope time won't be a tyrant in our lives.

Sincerely,
MYG

☁⛅☁☁

His charcoal stained black boots walked against the pavement of the footpath, crushing every particle of  rocks and filth into dust and fine powder. His checked black and white flannel was hung unbuttoned over his plain black T-shirt and matching black jeans.

It was noticeable to say that Yoongi loved the colour black and it's symbolism. The colour black meant power, sophistication, aggression, rebellion, mystery, grief, professionalism. All that Yoongi was linked to. He wanted rebellion against those who violated basic rights to show his aggression and grief for those who felt unnecessary pain. He wore black for his mysterious emanation and black meant business. He didn't want people to think low of him. He wanted people to be aware of something that he's passionate to and this showed his professionalism.

It was Sunday and he didn't leave for his brother's house. His mind was conflicted with sundry emotions. He needed time to be alone.

He walked around the lone streets of Seoul. Taking multiple turns into different streets, going to nowhere but leading to somewhere he stopped in front of a small building.

It appeared to be a foster care or a housing for the disabled people. The windows were huge, letting Yoongi's umber orbs glance through plate glass. His eyes observed a children's room in which all the children sat down listening to their instructor so diligently and attentively. It managed to convince Yoongi's feet to move closer to the building.

And so, he did. He titled his head and locked his eyes at the familiar figure standing in front of the students.

He watched his the woman moved her body and hands so vividly  it caught him in  trance. He immediately knew that it was sign language.

The gestures, the lethargic movements of the lips and body were evident to say that it was indeed sign language.

He eyes pierced through the transparent glass and gazed at the uncanny resemblance of the woman. The hands, the hair, he knew it was Heiran.

"She knows sign language?" Yoongi thought out loud, completely losing himself to oblivion as he was standing in front of a class full of students and that peculiar woman.

What he hadn't noticed that the class of 25 students and Herian were staring at Yoongi like he was madman. She furrowed her brows and tilted her head in confusion.

"Ah, it must be that cute stalker." Herian thought.

"Class dismissed." Herian gestures as the children leave the classroom.

Yoongi notices that the students weren't paying any attention to their instructor and were now jumping and playing with each other.

His eyes were locked with Herian's puce orbs. He jumped as he realised that he was staring at the alluring woman. Heiran chuckled at Yoongi's behaviour and left the room.

Yoongi felt embarrassed as he felt his cheeks heat up. He ivory fingers rubbed the back of his pale neck as he bit his rosy bottom lip.

Moments later, the admirable woman stood outside the glass doors of the building.

"Come." She moved his fingers towards herself with a sweet, welcoming smile.

Yoongi froze and stumbled upon his feet as he tried to walk towards the woman. Heiran's eyes crinkled luminously as she watched the peculiar man embarrassing himself.

Yoongi regained his posture and walked closer to the more with timid steps. Heiran took no time in grabbing the male's freezing hand in her warm ones to drag him inside the insulated building.

Yoongi felt a lump in his throat as he entered the building. The area itself was pleasing to stare upon. Handmade chimes hung near the windows, drawings made by little children were hung on the notice boards, legos and toy blocks were placed neatly on the carpet floor.

The receptionist gave a sceptical look towards the pair but Heiran gave a small smile to the receptionist to ensure her that it was alright.

Yoongi was too busy admiring the hard work of the little children and the adults. Herian left Yoongi's hand to gesture the receptionist,"Volunteers." The receptionist nooded her head understanding the situation but Yoongi on the other hand was lost as a stray puppy.

The receptionist handed over a clipboard and a blue ball point to Heiran. Herian turned around to Yoongi and placed the two items in front of him.

Yoongi read the single page form and looked up to Herian with a puzzled look. Her red painted nail pointed towards the word where, "Volunteers", was written in a big but pleasing font.

Yoongi nodded his head, understanding the purpose of the form. It was form for the public to volunteer to learn about sign language. He quickly filled the form, keeping in mind that he had university too.

He returned the items with his smile. Heiran then dragged him into a room where many other adolescents were sitting on the dark olive green carpet, learning about sign language.

Yoongi didn't know what he had gotten himself into but he sure knew that it was going to be worth his time.