Somewhere Only We Know (Shoey)

Chapter Fifteen-'Perfect.'

Chapter Fifteen-'Perfect.'

-Joey's P.O.V-

My clenched fist released and I watched, mesmerised by the various colours, as the days medication poured from my hand and crammed my mouth.

I raised my drowsy head and gawked at myself in the mirror, swallowing. At first I could have swore that there was someone else glancing back at me, but that thought quickly disappeared when I realised that the scrawny, frail boy that my eyes were studying was in fact myself.

My hand against my chin I started grazing my skin, letting my fingers drift towards my left cheek. The skin was coarse and pasty. I wasn't surprised, I knew that it wasn't going to be the rosy skin with no imperfections that I was used seeing.

My lips were like a desert. They looked as though they hadn't seen water in weeks. The skin was ripped in more places than one, due to my new habit of gnawing at my mouth when a memory would start to familiarise itself with my brain.

I couldn't control the rapid flash of these recollections. They would come at random times of the day, sometimes triggered but more often not. The imagery would last for just a few seconds but leave me in a frantic state nevertheless.

I hated them. They were complete torture.

I give my emotionless self one last quick scan in the mirror before switching the bathroom light off. After making sure that my 'daily pill box' was undetectable to even the most observant, I quickly scrambled across the landing and into the peacefulness of the only room I had all to myself.

It had been eight days since my first session with Miss Adams. Yesterday I explained to her how slowly but surely school was getting back on track. Although that was one huge lie. I hadn't been to school since that day.

Of course I left every morning, school bag in hand, but my foot never crossed the school gates. I couldn't explain everything to my parents, I didn't want them to treat me like dirt and look at me with disgust. But I was not going back to get beat to a pulp. I had enough on my plate at the minute without adding more paranoia and worry.

Everyday I would make my way to the park and carry myself to the place I knew no one would find me. I also knew that soon enough my school would start ringing home, demanding answers from my mom that she wouldn't be able to give. She wouldn't be able fulfil their expectations.

'Why has your son, Joseph Graceffa, been absent for several school days in a row?'

Although I'll just have to deal with that when the time comes.

I needed to talk to Shane. I needed to know if he was okay. I text him five days ago and he still hadn't replied.

Concern throbbed in my chest and my fingers fidgeted from the build up of nerves. I twirled my thumbs questioning if I should ring him or if I should wait and let him take his time.

I slid my thumb across my phone screen and watched as the apps dispersed around the rectangular surface. My left thumb darted to the one app I knew all too well and as soon as it opened Shane's messages were displayed. It was only a coincidence, it wasn't as though I kept checking for an answer every few hours and kept Shane's messages open for handiness.

'Hey Shane. I am so so sorry. I should never have left you at the pond. Especially when I knew you were on your way to the hospital to get your stitches and your nose looked at. It was a really lousy thing to do and I should have been there for you. I feel horrible for ignoring your messages and I hope you can forgive me. I went to the psychiatrist the same day you went in and got the medication I needed. Anyway, how's your injuries? Have they improved much since you last updated me?'

No response. No acknowledgement. No anything.

"Maybe his phone ran out of battery and he didn't bring a charger", I said aloud, trying to reassure myself the best I could. Unfortunately it wasn't really working.

I need to ring him. I don't even know if he's out of hospital yet! He must be home. Why would they keep him in for over a week? There's no need, he isn't that badly injured.

I dialled his number, tapping from memory. I had studied it over and over, repeating it over and over whilst I pondered over whether or not I should call him.

After five minutes of staring at the wall blankly I finally realised that he could have went home and his dad could have been there. What if something happened? What if something happens? I needed to ring him to make sure everything was safe. To make sure he was safe.

The call rang once and then the monotone voice informed me that the person I was trying to contact was busy and that I should try again later.

So, he was on the phone to someone else. Who would shane be talking to? When did he get friends? Why didn't he ring me if he wanted to talk to someone?

Rejection wrapped itself around my heart and the guilt that I had for leaving him rapidly transformed to jealousy.

He replaced me.

Well fine. If that's what he wanted I could do it too. I told myself that I didn't care but the pang of hurt dispersed in my stomach, twisting and spinning until I felt as though I was going to come face to face with my pain.

My mind didn't have to think long before one familiar face presented itself. It was perfect. He was perfect. And I knew that this plan was definitely perfect.

Making someone jealous is by far easier said than done. Especially when you're not even talking to either of the people you intend to include in your strategy. I knew that, but I was willing to try.

And that's why I called Tyler.

--------------------------------

Would you believe that I'm not dead? It's been forever and I'm so sorry, I feel so bad. I'm posting the little shoutout after this, even though the people have more reads than me at this stage<3

I didn't really know what to call this chapter, I've went out of the writing mood, but I'll still update every so often.

That's all, bye x (I'm sorry, again)