the last night

580 11 18
                                    

first jenrey one shot! a one shot based on the last night. korey struggles with depression and self harming and jen finds out.

warning: self harm.

third person pov.

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Korey walked into her room, closing the door behind her and sliding down her bed side, tears already streaming down her face.

She never wanted to be seen when in this messy state so she locked herself in her room as she always did when she had a bad day. It was always the same. When she would have an extremely bad day, she'd come in her bedroom to hide from everybody and sob for who knows long and if it gets too bad, she'd go to what felt like her only friend... Her razor.

And today was one of those days. It was one of those days where she felt useless, worthless, she felt disgusting just to look at or talk to. She hated feeling like this, but she couldn't stop it, she couldn't stop this horrible mental illness.

She wanted to get better, she wanted to stop her horrible habits, she wanted to feel like she belongs, she just wanted to feel good enough for once in her lifetime but she knew it would never happen. She thought she would never ever be good enough in her life, not even for the person she loves most.

She wanted to be with her love interest so bad as she was the only one keeping her alive, but she knew that would never happen. Her love interest was too perfect for someone like her. She thought she'd never have interest in a depressed, lonely, worthless, ugly girl like her.

Korey climbed up on her bed, still sobbing and whimpering. She had her back turned to the door as she curled up on her side and sobbed on her pillow. She just wanted to feel good enough, was that too much to ask for?

Korey had enough.

"Will I ever be fucking good enough?! Or will I always stay like this, a worthless pathetic piece of shit!" She screamed in her pillow, being muffled by the pillow.

She wouldn't let herself scream outside of the pillow. She couldn't let anyone hear her. They can't know how pathetic she actually is.

After the sobbing had died down a bit to mainly just whimpers, she sat back up and slowly reached out for her phone.

When she had grabbed it, she sighed and with shaky hands, she pulled off the case and pulled out her sharp razor blade. She hadn't used it for a while due to trying to stay clean from self harm so people wouldn't notice it because but today was a bad day for her and she needed it, she needed the pain.

She bit her lip as she hovered the sharp piece of metal above her skin. She gave it a few seconds before finally giving in.

"Fuck it."

And with that, she quickly put the blade on her skin and ripped.

She winced as she looked at the first cut she had made on scarred skin. The sobbing began to start again as she looked at the cut. She needed more.

She continued slicing up her wrists. She didn't even wince. She needed this, she needed this stinging pain. She deserved it.

She became so numb in her own self mutilation that she didn't even hear her door open.

"Korey, it's just you and me so- Korey?"

Korey froze in her spot, it was only when the recognizable voice spoke that she realised, she hadn't locked the fucking door and now, her crush was in here.

She couldn't move. She couldn't let her see her in such a sobbing, bloody mess. All she could do was try hide her arm.

"Korey... Are you crying? And what are you doing?" Jen asked, walking closer to Korey.

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