FanBoy| Phan

Chapter 21

DANS POV
Christmas Day

"It's not much" I shrugged, nervously handing Phil his last present that had been pushed to the back of the tree.

"I'm sure I'll love it." He smiled, gratefully taking it from my hand.

He slowly teared the paper, revealing a small silver framed picture of us at the London Eye.

Phil looked up grinning, "I love it."
He leant forward placing a small kiss on my lips.
I shrugged giving him a lopsided smile, "It's not as good as your present." I told him, bringing my hand up and looking at the small silver ring that had "DnP" carved into it.

"Hey," He started, "I love it, okay?"
I nodded, smiling at him.
"Thanks." I whispered, pulling him into a hug.
"You're welcome, it wasn't massive but I thought it wa-"
I cut him off, "Not just for the present, thanks for everything."
He nuzzled his face into my neck and sighed, "I love you."
I shuffled back slightly, bringing my hand up to his face and caressing his cheek softly, "I love you too."
~
The front door closed, leaving me in the apartment on my own.
Phil had gone out to get a new bottle of wine, as we had drank the last one a few nights ago and forgotten.

I took my phone out, closing my eyes and sighing loudly for a second.
"Come on Dan." I whispered to myself.

I hovered over my mums contact I had recently put in, knowing I'd call her sometime soon.

Getting it out of the way, I pressed the call button, bringing my phone up to my ear with shaky hands.
It dialled for a couple of seconds before a voice came out the phones speaker.
"Hello?"
My eyes immediately watered up at the sound of my mums voice.
"M-mum?" I whimpered, hoping she wouldn't hang up.
"Dan?" She asked, sounding hopeful.
A small smile appeared on my face at the tone of her voice.
"Yeah, I-it's me." I stuttered, tears spilling down my cheeks
"Oh Dan honey, I've been waiting for you to call me for years." She whispered.
"Really?" I cried, my bottom lip quivering.
"Of course. I know it takes time, but I'm glad you're back with us. I'm so proud of you." She told me.
Proud? What have I done for her to be proud of?
"I thought you'd never talk to me again." I sobbed.
"Well you've finally come to your senses Daniel. Your fathers going to be so happy." She exclaimed.
I frowned slightly, but the smile still remained on my face.
"Why didn't you try to contact me?" I asked.
"We didn't know if you were ready. We were just waiting for you to come out of your phase." She muttered.
"W-what?" I stuttered, my smile disappearing.
"You know, the whole homosexual thing you went through." She explained.

My smile disappeared as I felt like I had just been punched in the stomach.
"Dan? You still there?" I heard my mother's voice ask from over the phone.
"Yeah, yeah." I breathed, with a fake laugh.
I heard the front door click open.
"Uh, anyway I've gotta to, Ph-" I paused, "F-Felicity, my girlfriend, has come home." I lied.
"Okay sweetheart, I'm so proud of you. I love you honey." She whispered.
"I love you too, bye mum." I whispered, tears pouring down my face.
"Bye sweetie, call me back soon." She replied, before hanging up.

I composed myself, wiping my eyes and brushing my tears away with the sleeves of my hoodie and taking deep, shaky breaths to calm myself.

The door opened and Phil walked in, holding a large bottle of wine.
"Heya bub." He smiled, strolling over and taking a seat next to me on the sofa.
"Hi Philly." I whispered, returning the smile.

He frowned and leant in front of me, intently staring at my face.
"Are you okay Dan? It looks like you've been crying?" He asked, putting the wine bottle down and grabbing my hand.

I plastered a smile on my face and chuckled softly, "I'm fine Philly, I'm just happy."
He grinned, leaning in to kiss my cheek.
"Aw Dan, I'm happy too." He murmured, not letting go of my hand.

He put the tv on and we snuggled up together for the rest of the evening.

Whilst Phil watched the tv and sipped on his wine every so often, the conversation I had with my mum kept running through my head.
What if she's right?
What if it's just a phase?
Do I even love Phil?
I shook my head, of course I do.
I love Phil more than anything. But I've just got my family back and I don't want to lose them again.
More fresh tears ran down my face, but this time I let them run, reaching my chin and dropping off.
My tears leaked onto Phil's sweater but he was watching the tv and didn't seem to notice.

I felt my lip quiver as I shut my eyes slowly.
I'd sleep on it and figure everything out in the morning when my heads more clear.

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(A/N)
Tea ☕️
Ah it's nearly 2019, how did we get here? We're all dying jeez
I'm not one to make resolutions but I've got a whole ass list of them this year
I hope 2019 will be a good year coz the past few have been shit lmao
I want this to be the year where I actually get of my ass and go to the gym and stay healthy (I know, terrifying right?) and generally be positive. It'll also be cool if I could get through this year without relapsing into self harm coz I haven't managed to do that yet and it's been years so yeet, that'll be nice lmao (notice me adding that awkward lmao coz I'm too awkward rip)
Anyway, what am I even talking about? who knows
Have a good new year, I hope 2019 gives you everything you want
-ObsessedBandTrash