Flawless |bxb|

Chapter 17

**pic above is Ryan**

Ryan's POV

Addictive.

That's how his lips felt.

Totally Addictive.

They were so soft like they were meant to be kissed, but I didn't want anyone else to kiss him and feel how addictive he is.

This sudden thought made me tighten my arm that was encircling his waist, but as soon as I did that, I felt that he was trying to push me away, his hands were on my chest and he was trying to get away from me.

Shit.

I immediately let go of him.

Oh My God.

What have I done?

I kissed someone.... A boy....... that also without his consent, what the hell is wrong with me.

This is not me..... Even when I was with Monica I never did anything without asking her first.

This boy is making me do things I have never done.

This boy is making me fall for him.

But now he probably hates me.

The mere thought of him hating me felt suffocating.

I risked to look at him and see his reaction.

His hand was on his mouth, but his wide eyes were showing his shock of being kissed forcefully by a ....Guy.

I couldn't stand that look.

I couldn't stand the idea of him hating me.

So I ran.

I ran from there ignoring Kanan's voice that was calling me back, probably to tell me how much he was disgusted by me.

-------

This is the second day in row that I have skipped my classes, just to avoid Kanan, I lied to my friends and family and said that I am ill, I haven't done anything in the past two days apart from laying on my bed and replaying the kiss in my head.

I think should get out of the house for a while.

I need to go for a run to clear my head.

I was getting out of breath but I couldn't stop as if my legs had their own mind and they didn't wanted to stop, my downcast eyes were focused on my shoes which were making heavy sounds each time they hit the slightly wet pavement, the honking of cars which usually annoys the hell out of me is like non- existent right now, the only sound that I could hear was of my overly beating heart which I am sure anyone could be heard from a mile away....Everything was getting blurred, I couldn't focus anymore, I was getting nauseous.

It was never supposed to be like this, never. Why me...Why me of all people had to fall for a GUY.

Why?