Forever... Maybe

Chapter Five

previous chapter:

I looked up "Asallamulikum," I said

Abu didn't even reply and looked at the car behind me

"Get inside," Abu said pushing me in

my mother came running in grabbing my hand, I looked at the watch that was hanging up, it was 10:30...I knew what was going to happen.

I was dragged to the living room with my father following behind, I closed my eyes hoping it won't hurt much this time. 

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I was in my room sitting on my bed, with no emotion running through my body. My parents knew I was going out but they still doubted me. 

They thought I was with a guy on a date they won't take even two seconds to listen to me. I have changed but they never once did they ever want to listen to me.

I have locked myself in my room with my head resting against my bed. Sometimes I ask Allah what have I done to deserve this but I guess it's what Allah wanted for me. 

I take a deep breath in and open my poetry book writing yet another couple of pages. 

My phone was going off many times, I was choosing to ignore it but it started to become very annoying. I turned off my phone not looking whose texting me and threw it across the room. 

I was in no mood to speak to anyone.

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I woke up the next morning and started working on my midterms and assignments. I wasn't very hungry and I didn't want to go up anyway and see everyone.

It was around 3 in the afternoon and it seemed like everyone left somewhere. I grabbed the kettle that I had in my room and made myself a coffee and went back to work. 

I didn't check my phone it was still near the door where I threw it. 

Getting up from my study table I grabbed my phone. I turned it on seeing 58 messages. 

I took a deep breath in, already exhausted from knowing I'll have to read all the texts.

I opened up my phone seeing that Hadiya, Ayesha and Hamza all have texted me. 

To be honest those were all the people I didn't want to hear from at the moment. 

I opened up Hadiya's text she was asking if I was okay and if my parents were mad at me or if they did anything. I didn't tell her anything other than saying I am okay and that nothing happened. 

I moved on to Ayesha she was asking about assignments and how my day went. I ignored her messages about how my day went and sent her pictures of my work so she could take them for reference.

The last and most messages were from Hamza. I shut my phone not reading them, I kind of had an idea of what he texted me so I went back to work reminding myself to maybe look at it later if I wanted to. 

The house was silent until around 2 in the morning. I guess they all went out for some gathering. I was usually uninformed when and where they go out. I was kind of an extra piece in the family. 

Till this day I never understood why they hated me so much, but I keep myself together for my well being. If I overthink on these small things I will become depressed and I don't want to be I know I can do a lot in my life and these small things won't matter after a short period of time.

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The next morning I left for Uni there was a study session held so I went, Ayesha was going but I didn't contact her I kind of wanted to commute alone.