AESTHETIC ✧ phil lester

28

"hey phil, you wanted to talk?"

".. yeah. can we sit?"

"of course, i made some tea too if you want any."

"a cup would be fine, thanks."

"anyways what's the big deal? this isnt about the weird fan theories and twitter threads, (a/n: yes, theories and threads in plural bc phannies rlly wildin) right?"

"actually.. yeah thats why i'm here."

"oh phil, what's the matter? worried about lil ol' me?"

"... a little.."

"aw sweetie, i'm glad you care but it doesn't bother me."

"really? are you sure?"

"well what's there to be worried about? yeah the fan theories are weird, and i've recently been getting a lot of... unwanted attention, but it doesn't bother me, im a tough cookie, philly!"

"but the comments.. they're just so mean.. i've seen people send you death threats and it hurts me knowing that these people call themselves my 'fans.'"

"well, it's not easy trying to change people's minds, but like i said, it's really nothing to worry about. not everyone hates me, i've seen some nice comments, and i choose to focus my energy on those. plus, the haters are all bark and no bite. they send threat over threat but have i seen them act out those threats? no!"

"well.. i mean.. they know where you work —"

"shut it. in this house we think positively to prevent me having a breakdown."

"sorry! sorry, our fans are just.. insane. i'm pretty sure the phandom has the worst rep on the internet."

"debatable. i think the 'logang' and 'jake paulers' are significantly worse." (a/n: all the 9 year old jake paul stannies can square up 😤😤)

"god i don't deserve you."

"aw, don't say that.."

"but it's so true! how are you so nonchalant about all this?"

"honey, i choose to run away from my problems. its not a good idea, but it's better than getting mauled by 12 year old wannabe emo girls. whenever some phannie comes to my plant shop looking for me to like, interrogate me or whatever, i hide in the back room while katie tells them i took the day off like a coward! i know i'm amazing, but only to an extent."

"is it too early for me to say that i love everything about you?"

"i dunno, is it too early for me to say that i really wanna kiss you right now?"

"god i really wanna kiss you."

"then do it."

——————————
so.

that escalated quickly.

claim that dick bby.

anyways.

no smut for u mothers
and fuckers (sorry i was
trying something gender
neutral.. is it working?)
bc im wholesome and a
child okay? yeah.