FEELS: The College Diaries

Chapter Four - Gossip

"Cain....?" I asked, finding myself in the hallway outside of the library.

He stood quiet, yet he was almost perfect. All the sudden, I ran my fingers through his dark brown shaggy hair.

His grey eyes met mine as I kissed him, he kissed back. I attempted to make out with him, but I failed miserably, "Make out with me properly." I demanded.

Nothing happened, but he continued to kiss my cheek repeatedly in an adorable manner. I embraced him closely for a while, which was nice and felt real.

But I knew it wasn't real, I wasn't really stood in a conveniently empty college hallway. These weren't Cain's arms around me; Cain was miles away, more likely at home playing on the XBOX.

All I kept thinking about was 'make the most of this before you wake up'.

All the sudden, I found myself flashing forward, I was with that strange man again with the blue box. We were running away from a shadowy scary creature that was slowly taking over my body. Nothing new.

"Doctor! Do something!!" I shrieked, as it was coming closer.

He pulled out his sonic device, which was really no use at all; as it caught up and disappeared into my body.

"I... I think it's taking over me..." I uttered worriedly.

The spiky haired man didn't seem to look worried for my safety, since he was doing a lousy job at it anyway. Just before he was about to open his mouth to say something truly intellect, brilliant, more likely bonkers-

"What are you doing in the dark?" Penny asked, causing me to yelp as I was awoken.

I laid on my bed wrapped in a blanket, curtains closed; it was almost half past eight in the evening. My evening naps were nothing new; my sisters knew if I was quiet in my room, I was probably asleep.

I was frozen in fear, my eyes widened, Penny apologised, "Sorry I didn't know you were asleep!"

"Why do you think my room is dark?! I'm tired!!" I whined nearly in tears.

She sat on my bed and continued to go over ideas for an art animation competition she was participating in. Since she was an art student and was moving away to university to do illustration, so she would be rambling on about it.

Penny later changed the topic, "You know what I'm sad about?"

"I don't know what you got to be sad about, you're leaving college and going university soon. I'd be excited." I grunted, since I wasn't exactly happy being woken up.

She smiled sadly, "I was thinking about in the past when I was bullied..."

I narrowed my eyes. She always over thought things, I know I did too sometimes, the usual about the future what others thought about me. But I couldn't understand why she felt sad over something that had already happened and couldn't be altered.

"Well it's the past, so you shouldn't be..." I trailed off, "At least you don't have realistic dreams about people who you fancy but they don't fancy you in real life."

I couldn't help but feel guilty when I objectify guys in my dreams. Cain seemed like an emotionless clone.

In my dreams I like it when the guys kiss me and fulfil my needs, but my conscience has created them so that they don't show any emotions or have any other thoughts of their own. They were only made up to please me and follow my mind's orders.