G•I•R•L•S - Supercorp

Chapter Five • Kara

You know that itty bitty feeling of guilt that seems to prick your stomach when you've done something wrong? Like it keeps pricking, until it turns into poking, stabbing, and eventually to the point you feel sick but it's not from being ill, it's just caused by doing something you shouldn't have done.

That is what I have felt every second since the argument with Lena.

I went home after it happened. I didn't want to see anybody. The coach left a message on the house phone asking if I would be coming to practice today.

I didn't call back.

I never did when I felt this way.

I sulked on my bed for about an hour, my tears wetting the pillowcase as I tried to pry her out of my head. The thought of her was gripping on so tightly that I eventually let it consume me. I thought about her endlessly as I sobbed, cursing my fucked up self for letting her go like that.

It was my fault. Everything was my fault just like always.

Words left my mouth as if she was laying right next to me, trying to explain that I hadn't wanted to hurt her. I hadn't wanted to push her away or make her feel like she was nothing to me.

For god's sake, I was quickly coming to the realization that she was so much more than nothing.

Lena was everything.

My eyes had became red rather quickly and the color was just as striking an hour later as I laid here watching myself in the mirror. The sobs had stopped racking my body, but the tears were still running down my face effortlessly.

I imagined Lena standing there in the doorway, beckoning for me to fall into her arms just as I wanted to do.

I took a deep breath as the tears finally stopped and I stood up, realizing I needed to get ready to babysit Mr. Arthur's children. Going to my closet, I picked out a pair of ripped jeans and a flannel before getting changed into the more comfortable clothes. I left my hair in the high ponytail and plugged my phone in to charge before going downstairs to get a snack.

My eyes widened as I saw the unbelievable. My feet stepped down the last stair as I looked at the woman who was sitting on a stool at the counter, a glass of whiskey in her hand.
I waited for her to notice me and slowly I watched the head of red hair come around to reveal the face of my sister Alex.

I felt overjoyed as I grinned. I wanted to jump in glee as I saw her. It had been so long.

"Alex, what are you doing back?! I thought you were going to be in Germany for like another week!!!" I exclaimed as I stepped forward, opening my arms. My older sister didn't seem to share my enthusiastic demeanor. She looked almost angry... "Alex is something wrong?" I asked as she stood up, shoving her hands into the front pockets of her pants.

"Oh god Kara.... what.....what have you got yourself into?" She questioned as she sighed.

"What are you talking about? Come on! Give me a hug! Why are you here?" I tried asking again but her arms didn't open as I tried to embrace her. In fact, she took a step back and looked at me as if I were crazy.

"Are you blind?" she spoke angrily. I was trying to process what was even going on. "Why do you think I'm here Kara?" My older sister question as I frowned. "Did you think I wouldn't find out about you...." A look of disgust covered her face. "You and Lena?"

A pang of resentment stuck to my tongue as I opened my mouth, ready to lash out at her.

"Trouble, Kara. That is all she is. Trouble," Alex stated as I glared at her.