A Small Change [Hollywood Undead]

A Stupid Question

After about five minutes of whining, Jordon opened his phone. Only now he noticed that his background was a photo of a half-rolled blunt that's extremely jpeg'd, God, he couldn't even invest in a decent background, not that it even costs a lot to have a phone background in the first place.

Jordon decided to check his Instagram, though apparently he's locked out. He then goes to Twitter, where right away, there are so many things wrong right off the bat.

"Who the fuck is Jake Paul?" He muttered to himself, scrolling through Twitter day mode. His eyes were burning from the brightness, he swiped down from the top screen to find the control center or whatever the fuck it's called, after a few failed attempts he let misery take over and continued scrolling down his timeline.

All he found was a bunch of weird shit; Jake Paul, a bunch of wannabe rappers with "big" and "lil" in their handles, weird political shit that he didn't understand, and... youtubers? What the fuck.

"What the fuck?" Jordon furrowed his eyebrows, his irritation and anger boiling up the more he scrolled, all the tweets he saw were just some hot garbage, no, complete garbage. Not a single person on his timeline knew anything about being a decent human being. There was so much dehumanizing shit that could really make other people's blood boil, but for the sake of brevity and making more than a couple folks angry, let's not get into specifics.

Even through all the sick fucks on Twitter making Jordon want to bleach our his eyes, there was one tweet that really caught his attention.

@ MattyBusek

We're #1 in the polls boys!

Hmm, MattyBusek? As in, Matthew Busek? The one and only Da Kurlzz? It better be. What does he mean by "Number one in the polls"?

Jordon decided to investigate, he tapped on the profile and yeah, the profile picture is Matty alright, although why does he look so... different? His hair is slicked back and cut short and he's smiling so awkwardly into the camera with the American flag behind him. Matt also got a little bit of chub in him.

He looked through Matt's profile more in hopes of clearing up one of his many confusions, but things only seemed to bring up more questions. However, on thing was cleared up though.

Matty was gonna be president.

Well, not exactly. Half of it is true however; Matty is running for president. You read that right, running for the president of the United States of America. Jordon felt a mixture of pure disgust, pain, and secondhand embarrassment. I mean, yeah, he knows that Matty had a bit of an obsession with politics and metaphorically sucked Donny Truck's fat fucking political cock, but, really, running for president? I mean, isn't it 2019? Jordon was pretty sure it was, why were there elections? Unless...

Jordon pressed the home button and went on Goog- Safari? Oh, right, Apple product.

He searched "Donald Trump" on Safari. The top results being being something along the lines of "Donald Trump Assassinated!" and "America's President Dead In Ditches." The whole thing reeked of "Yikes" and "Thank God". Each news article regarding Donny's "death" dated back to 2017, meaning he's been dead for some time.

"So some knucklehead decided to kill him off before it was too late? Good." Jordon said to himself. But wait, if Donald Trump is dead.. Did Matty seriously take a chance in politics? Huh, but aren't guys covered in tats looked down upon, especially in places of law? Like, what the fuck? And how the fuck did Matty even qualify in the first place? The guy seriously has several DUI's! None of them are just official, because he's never been caught, but that's between you and Jords.