buzzcut season

27.

I have the next few chapters written just been busy and too lazy to edit them.

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"Having fun?" Elle laughs to me. I'm bored out of my mind. She's swatted my hand any time I've reached for a drink.

"No," I groan.

It's Mals birthday. Mal invited a bunch of people to her apartment she shares with the Emma girl I met only a couple times a few years back. I definitely don't know anyone. Then again I was gone two years.

"This apartment is crowded, I want fresh air," Elle says. I don't really listen, instead I try to see where Luka is. "I also don't know anyone other than you Mal and Luka. Wherever the heck they are."

Not too many people are here but that's because this apartment isn't all that big. Definitely bigger than our old one.

"Koda?" I hear a voice. When I turn to see who I recognize Emma. She looks very different. "Long time no see."

"Yeah," I say as if we were friends.

I don't like her. As far as my understanding goes, she replaced me. For a bit it was Luka, Mal and Emma.

"You look nice, oh and who's this?" She asks, tipping her glass towards Elle.

"That's Elle, my girlfriend," I say.

"Girlfriend?" She sounds shocked.

"Yes?" I say confused from her tone.

"Oh just-- nevermind. Good to see you though," she smiles before walking past us and to another person.

Why did she act like she knew me? We were never friends nor will we ever be.

"Wow she seemed... were you two friends?"

"No..."

Elle laughs a bit before turning her attention to something else. "Where's Mal? I want to say happy birthday."

"I'm not sure." Then I spot Mal. We make eye contact and as quickly as possible I divert my gaze somewhere else but it's too late and she's walking towards us. "Here why don't you ask Mal while I—" I attempt to escape to the bathroom but suddenly people are just in my way. Finally I turn around, frustrated, to where Mal is stood next to Elle.

"Happy birthday," Elle smiles.

Mal says a quick thanks before turning to me. "Hey we need to speak for a minute," she grabs my shirt and pulls me aside catching Elle a bit by surprise.

She pulls me to a wall a bit farther away from where her friends are.

"Look I can't stand you being pissed at me so later we need to talk and I'll be honest."

"Honest? Are you telling me you've lied more?"

"I don't know everything's just such a mess between us. I want to clear up everything that's happened and why it all happened. Can you do that Koda? It's my birthday, do it for my birthday."

"Fine. Later." I only agree because I'm curious what she's lied about now.

"Okay," she says before walking away and chatting with other random people.

I walk around trying to find Luka but end up next to Elle again.

An hour goes by and I spot Luka so I end up hanging around him for the rest of the night. Elle hovers over me to keep me from drinking which is annoying as shit.

I'm an adult. I'm not an alcoholic. It's just that a couple years ago I didn't value my life enough so I drank to make things better. Things are different now, I can drink when I want and responsibly.

"I'm bored. Let's go somewhere," Luka whispers to me. We're standing in a circle talking to some of Mal's friend. More or less just listening.

"But it's Mal's birthday?" I say taking a step back from the group. He does as well.

"One, you don't even talk to her and two I've barely seen her this whole night and I'm her boyfriend."

"Okay good points."

"Then let's go."

"Where though?"

"I don't fucking know. Let's go."

I can tell he's drank a bit which makes me want to drink. On our way out I find some alcohol in the kitchen. We end up chatting and drinking in there for half hour or something before making our way out the door.

We catch an Uber and not entirely sure where to go so Lu types a random letter into the map on his phone and the first thing to pop up was a grocery store half and hour away.

The whole ride we end up laughing about nothing and talking. The Uber driver thinks were mad but at the end of the ride we owe him quite a bit so I send money from the app and we both get out. It's a grocery store far outside the city.

People don't roam the street like cockroaches and there's a comfortable but odd silence that fills the air unlike the city.

It's cold and we both stop to look at the flurries falling. It only entertains us for a minute before we keep walking.

"Should we go inside?"

I look to him and think. "Sure. I want an apple."

"Ew," he says before shrugging. We walk inside the empty grocery store. It takes us forever to find the apples because we spend most of the time in the canned section all because he saw canned apples and we thought it would be next to the apples.

Finally we find them after first mistaking a tomato as a really soft apple and then make our way back outside.

I eat the apple as we walk down the side walk. Occasionally a car will speed down the street going 20 over the limit. The snow has started to cover the ground.

We chat about nothing till I hear my phone ringing. At first I don't realize what the sound is, only that I recognize it, before realizing it's my phone.

I pull it out of my pocket and answer.

"Hello."

"Koda. Where are you and Luka?" Mallory. Of course it had to be Mal. Probably better then it being my dad.

I furrow my eyebrows and turn to Luka.

"I don't know."

"Koda what do you mean you don't know? We were supposed to talk."

"I don't want to talk to her. Luka you talk to her." I try handing him my phone but he won't take it.

"I don't want to talk to her."

Instead I just hang up the phone and stop to sit down on the curb. He stops and sits down with me.

By now I'm finished my apple and I toss the core onto the road.

"You know what," he says.

I turn to face him.

Sometimes all I want to do is stare at him, be around him, talk to him.

The excitement you get to talk to someone or see them.

I've never felt that way about Elle but she still makes me happy.

"Two years ago you asked me if I loved Mal." He laughs a bit. "The answer is no."