buzzcut season

30.

Very short chapter I'm sowwyyyy. Just kind of hitting writer's block with this story and yeah. I'll likely wrap it up pretty soon. I don't know when but hopefully this summer I'll finish.

Unedited (plz comment mistakes)
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"Koda," Elle nags me again. "Get off your phone."

I shut it off and look up to her. She's sitting next to me. Myah across the table with the same girl she brought to the wedding. My father on the end and mother on the other side.

Sitting through dinner is painful. These family dinners have become a regular thing and I can't say I enjoy them all that much. However, there's always good food and that's really all that matters.

Sometimes being around Myah is exhausting though. That's a lie, it's always exhausting. I keep catching her staring and I'm not quite sure what she's going to go on about today.

A bit after dinner, mom takes both Myah and I's girlfriends out into the yard to show them the garden she'd been raving about all dinner.

This gives Myah a chance to annoy me. A chance that she takes.

She enters the living room where I'm sat alone on my phone.

"Who were you texting?"

"Nobody." She's so nosey. "Also, why do you still have a girlfriend? You don't even like her."

I'm a good 90% sure Myah is an aromantic. I can't imagine her ever actually caring for someone.

"Having a famous girlfriend has its perks," she shrugs and takes a seat. "Enough about me." She smiles. "How about you and your new girlfriend... or should I say boyfriend."

"What?"

"Seriously. Who are you texting?"

"Just a friend."

"Yeah bullshit. I know you the best, you're texting someone and I know who."

"No you don't."

"Hm, who's that one person that as much as you hate, can never seem to stay away from? The person who's been on your side since day one."

I just stare. She thinks she can break me. She probably can I'm fairly weak when it comes to these types of conversations.

She smiles and stands up. "Hm. I knew I was right." As if me just staring was confirmation. "Better figure things out. Spoiler, you can't choose the girl."

"But— what-"

"I mean you could but you will spend the rest of your life back and forth with Luka cause you can't help it."

I stare. How the fuck does she know?

I hate her. I honestly hate her. Maybe she's Jesus. Would make sense why she knows everything and never gets hurt.

My sister is Jesus.... or maybe the devil.

She starts to walk away but for once in my life I actually don't want that. I want to ask questions as if she'd know the answer.

"How do you know anything?"

"Koda, you and Luka have been inseparable for years and years and made each other so happy," she says. "The only time I ever heard you laugh till you couldn't breath, he was there. You can't live without him and these past years are just an example."

"No but I was doing so well. I'm in school and not drinking—"

"You and him are both a mess but that doesn't mean you can't get your shit together."

"Okay so if you've always known or whatever, why didn't you say anything?"

She shrugs. "I found it entertaining. Besides, I gave you hints and shoved people in your direction."

I've never been so convinced my sister is crazy.

"And if I did tell you anything, you would be an absolute mess. You had to figure it out, you both did."

"Wow it's almost like you care," I say sarcastically.

I think to every conversation we've had about Luka and how weird she gets.

Plot twist, Myah is secretly in love with Luka.

"Maybe I do or maybe I'm just bored, who knows." She walks off leaving me alone.

She's right. I do have to make a choice and it's not going to be Elle, as much as I love her I just always put her second next to Luka and she doesn't deserve that.

I need a drink.

No. I can't.

Fuck, why is adulting hard? Why can I not just go to sleep and ignore everyone?

My existential crisis is interrupted when I hear the girls all back in the house. "I've been buying some indoor plants too. My favourite is my monstera upstairs."

"Oh my parents have a really large one," Elle says. "Wheres Koda?"

"Not sure."

Not really wanting to see Elle, I decide to slip out of the house and take an Uber home. I text her saying I was sick.