buzzcut season

32.

You fools chose to read my worst book y'all. I've procrastinated finishing it because to me it's a complete abomination so I'm just going to get it over with. Trust me I have better stories this one was so angsty.

Sorry for short ending it was this or I would've never finished it.

-

Luka broke up with Mal the following day that I had broken up with Elle. Quietly, I've been dating Lu for a month, the only person knowing being Myah. Who surprisingly, showed enough emotion to let us know that she finds it cute and she comes to visit and says she's happy for me.

Which is weird...

Lately it's been bothering me that I never gave an explanation to Elle or Mal. Elle deserves it, she did not deserve what I did and I know it'll break her heart to tell her the truth but I don't want her blaming herself. I'm the stupid one who made stupid decisions without worrying about others' feelings.

Mal did this to me so I'm not exactly feeling too guilty but I want all three of us to talk. Then, for the first time since I was 16, everything between us will make sense. All the drama and everything was all hidden with Luka having a secret and making an even bigger mess then me.

To be honest, I blame him for everything.

No. I will blame his dad.

No, actually, I'll blame Myah because I like to blame her for things to make myself feel better plus she really could've just told Luka and I.

"Koda?" Luka calls from across the apartment.

I walk to where I hear him and he's lying on my bed in just boxers.

"What?"

"Can you cook?"

"Not really."

"Aw dang, I wanted pancakes."

"Order them."

"Aren't we meeting up with Mal soon?"

"She's coming here."

"Oh okay so I can order pancakes!"

"Yes." I leave my room and shout for him to get me waffles.

I casually sit on the couch hyperventilating about everything. I'm still going to school. I'm going to try again but this time with Lu instead of Elle. Something was never right with Elle, I wasn't myself.

Not even sure if this will work this time but I've realized I'm very trial and error and I've had enough error for one life time. 

Whether he was around or not, everything in my life has revolved around Luka. I've really started to realize that and hate myself that Mal noticed this years ago. 

There's a knock at the door and I freeze. I can Luka muttering how he says not dressed so I get the door.

Mal.

"Hey."

She stares before throwing on a small smile. "Hey Koda." She holds her arms open for a hug and I give her a hug. 

"I've missed you."

"Me too, Mal."

"Growing up sucks."

"It does."

I invite her inside and move to sit on the couches.

"You said you wanted to talk?"

"Yeah. We're not hormonal teens anymore, we need to put everything past us."

I can see her try to hide her happiness.

"Everything will be normal between us again?"

"Sort of." I keep staring at my room wondering where the hell Luka is.

"Sort of?

Luka walks out of my room casually whistling before walking into the kitchen. Did this idiot not just order food?

"Lu?"

"Oh hey Mal. Let's speed up this process. I'm gay, Koda is whatever the fuck Koda is. A hoe I guess. Sorry I pretended to like you but I missed Koda and yeah basically that's it."

I stare at him.

"That was not how I was going to phrase it," I sigh before Mal turns her head to me. Her jaw dropped. 

"Ten years worth of drama because this boy couldn't figure his shit out?"

"I know that's what I said!" I say to Mal.

We spend the rest of the night explaining everyone's perspective through the years. We get drunk, laugh, and act like we're kids again.