buzzcut season

29.

Wow I'm updating twice in one night after not updating for like two weeks. Tbh I've had four drafts just sitting waiting to be edited and I edited them bc they're all hecka short (aha sry).

Also, anyone reading this in the future literally will not care and reading this intro was pointless. It's late and I need sleep.

Anyway yet another short chapter but a pretty good one I'd say lol.
—

I stand impatiently after I knocked on Luka's door.

I haven't seen him in maybe a week. Not since Mal's birthday.

Eventually he opens the door, looking a little shocked to see me.

"Koda?"

"We need to talk."

"I- Okay." He steps back and let's me walk past him into his apartment.

Like always, anger starts to get the best of me as I walk over to where the couches are. He follows.

We're both sitting down but then I stand up because I really don't feel like sitting.

"You told Mal to keep you guys a secret because you didn't want to see me?"

I can see the exact moment he changes.
Like he switches character to this lifeless, dull shitbag.

"Now you're going to fucking do this again?" I grumble. "You're going to act as if you don't care because it's your pathetic way of coping."

"Cause drinking is so much better."

I'm actually surprised he says something.

"I managed to quit that till you came back into my life. Everything was fucking perfect but then I see you at a party and we chat again and I ignore everything from the past cause you know what, that was years ago. I tried to move past it but then shit like this comes up again." I'm not quite yelling but I'm clearly angry and loud. "You won't ever explain anything because you're so god damn insecure or private or some dumb shit. I bet you Mal knows everything. All your stupid little secrets."

I end up pacing back and forth.

"Now you're not going to tell me anything and we're back to square one and I'm not doing this again. Yeah we're young enough still to go out partying and shit but we're old enough to skip past drama and not be dealing with all this shit like we're back on the play ground."

He still doesn't say anything.

"I swear to fucking god Luka this time I'm leaving and I'm leaving for good."

I stop and think. It all just frustrates me so much. I stare at him in pure anger. I don't want to leave oh god I really don't want to leave him again. Part of me doesn't think I can do it again. It tore me apart when he left and the second time I left because I was so heartbroken to hear they'd lied to me but I can't do this forever.

What if I do leave and see him again in five years? Why can I never just walk away and stay away? This is never going to end. I need to move countries.

"You're an asshole who either doesn't seem to care about me at all or just hides reasons that you pretend not to care about me. Like what the fuck was telling Mal you didn't want to see me about?"

I'm practically yelling and for once I would rather just cry then yell. I'm tired of this. I don't care. I don't care anymore.

I just want to know what the hell is wrong with him. I've never known someone as much as I know Luka but at the same time I don't know him at all.

"Why do you not fucking care?" I yell. He's still just sitting on the couch. God I could just fucking punch him. The more I glare the more I realize he's thinking, I ignore it. "Fucking say something you shitbag."

He looks more scared then careless now. I'm still to angry to care.

"Talk!"

"Fuck you, I love you!" He yells for once in his life. I stand for a moment acting like I heard it wrong. Did I hear it wrong?

Am I okay or am I having a stroke?

"What?" I basically whisper it.

"That's fucking why! My father fucking hated you and he hated me because I liked you!" Things start to click in my head. "Of course I don't give a damn about Mal. I'm gay!"

I stand there in total shock.

"I dated Mal so I was still around you. I saw you around the apartment but you never saw me. Koda, my dad..." He's not yelling at me anymore and is speaking in a quieter tone.

Before he even gets to finish his sentence I move towards him and smash our lips together.

It was forceful enough that he's leaning back and I'm basically on top of him. He doesn't hesitate to kiss back. His leg resting somewhere on one of mine. My tongue in his mouth and vice versa.

All that's on my mind is Luka.

I don't even care about everything he said, how everything matches up. I don't care that he's dating Mal and oh god, how I'm dating Elle.

It doesn't matter.

"Koda."

I can hear him moan my name as I kiss his neck. His hands are under my shirt.

Jesus fuck I'm making out with Luka.

The hard feeling I can feel under my crotch suggests that might not be all.