no escape (kave)

Chapter 4

Rehearsals were cool- aside from the fact that Courtney had been bothering Kurt, rehearsals went fine. Everything felt as they normally did, Kurt poured his soul into his guitar and Krist and Dave did as well in their instruments.

When it was break, Kurt drank some water and glanced at the clock. In about an hour rehearsals were gonna be over and then he'd have to go home back to that hell. He'd have to go home to Courtney and he felt it weighing down on him. Last night was terrible, he never expected her to hit him like that. And Kurt wasn't violent- he was such a gentle soul, he hated pain and yet it was all he had to feel. As he was drowning in his thoughts Dave snapped him out of them.

"Hey man, you alright?"

Kurt glanced over at the drummer and slowly nodded.

"Yeah, sorry about that."

"What were you thinking?" Dave arched his brow, interested in what his band mate was thinking about.

"Oh just thinking about what I'm gonna do when I get home," Kurt retorted, more certainly thinking of how to deal with Courtney.

"I was gonna ask actually if you wanted to stop by my place later? We haven't hung out outside of rehearsals in quite a bit, Krist will bring some drinks over and we can just chill." Dave smiled, a light blush tinting at his cheeks.

"O-okay, I guess that'll work," Kurt smiled back in return, looking down so Dave can't notice the nervousness swimming in his eyes, "Can Courtney come too?"

"I was thinking it can be just us.. But yeah, I don't mind her. Just make sure she's not a buzz kill like last time." Dave looked disappointed but hid it smoothly, "She got so bitchy." He rolled his eyes.

Kurt couldn't help but laugh, the sound of his laughter making Dave smile like a dork. He joined in on the laughs too, feeling like a great moment had rose with them.

"I don't blame you for not wanting her there, she does get quite bitchy," Kurt agreed, "She can be quite possessive.." He said that part a little louder than he should've said it. Dave gave a concerned look. It was obvious the drummer didn't like her enough, now this was going to be alerting.

"Possessive?" Dave took notice to Courtney's behavior; he knew well for a fact that things between her and Kurt weren't ideal. He never spoke a word about it, he knew Kurt deeply 'loved' her and didn't want to hurt his feelings. But at the same time it would be better for him to feel safe and to be free.

"Wrong word," Kurt chuckled awkwardly, "She's not possessive," LIES, Kurt thought after he said that sentence. "She just loves me..."

"She shouldn't get that way when you leave the house though. Kurt, she's not that controlling, right?"

"She's not controlling! Dave, really, thanks for worrying but our relationship is fine. I promise.. Now don't worry about it."

Dave frowned. He felt in ways Kurt was shutting him out. He understood the pain he felt and expressing it through words wasn't the easiest for Kurt and he and Krist always made sure to be patient with him on that, but he didn't like how isolated he would become. He disattatched completely when he was lost in his own thoughts and feelings, he didn't intentionally want to hurt those around him, but he didn't want to be honest about it either. He didn't want to be a burden or bring anyone down.

"Alright.." Dave stood up to go talk to Krist in the other room and get a quick snack to eat since he was hungry and since their break was almost over. Kurt felt guilty afterwards and wanted to be more open but couldn't. What could Dave do anyway? Tell him to break up with her? Who would Kurt even go to? He never loved someone as much as he loved Courtney, he never been in a relationship that brought him to this state of mind. The times when he was happy with her was such a rare feeling he got with other people. Could he ever receive that same feeling? Maybe there would be someone who could give him that same feeling. Kurt didn't want to think about replacing Courtney, it made him feel bad again.

These were the days he hated having feelings; he simply cared too much.