no escape (kave)

Chapter 11

"D-Dave, It's-"

"Buzzkill!" Courtney groaned, "There's nothing wrong with what we're doing, can you leave?"

Dave gave an angry look to the blonde frontwoman.

"I didn't ask you! You're too fucking high out of your mind to even understand what you're doing!" Dave dragged Kurt angrily out of the bathroom and Kurt let out a disappointed sigh. He almost gave in and that scared him, but maybe it was a good thing Dave stopped it when he could. This could've ended up much worse.

Dave stroked Kurt's hand, the hand he was still holding and frowned frustratedly.

"What if you got addicted? I don't want you dead..." He quietly spoke, "That drug can kill you, and that's the last thing I want, I don't want that happening to you."

Hearing the sadness that layed in Dave's voice broke Kurt's heart. He didn't want the drummer to be upset with him, he wanted things to be peaceful and fine.

"Dave, I was being an idiot, but at least I didn't do it," Kurt smiled, "I don't think Courtney will continue, either.."

"Sure," Dave rolled his eyes, "She's not dragging you down that hole. I won't let it happen."

"Hey Dave, are you mad?"

Dave shrugged and felt a little calmer, he knew his friend was right because be didn't actually shoot up, but it freaked him out. It freaked him out that one of his best friends could've easily became addicted. It scared him that he could be in much more harm than he's already in. That drug was freaky.

"I... I don't know. I just care for you a lot and I don't want you ever doing that shit. We need you Kurt, and I can't be mad at you, but you need that control."

Kurt slowly nodded and swung his head down. He felt shitty now, he felt like he had no control. Even if he did nothing, he had no control of his unstable feelings and actions. He wished he could.

"You're right," He mumbled lowly and changed the subject, "Let's just go back to the hotel."

Dave smiled and took them both back. They didn't know where Krist was but they didn't want to stop his good time. He'll just join them as soon as he was done partying.

Kurt got changed into some baggy clothing when he got back to the hotel. It was what he used as pajamas and he crawled underneath the covers. He felt disappointed in himself... He could vividly remember the feeling of gripping the needle in his hand and it about to go in his vein. He was curious and wanted to know how he felt, maybe it will make him feel the best he'd ever felt.

He felt like he let down his band, mostly Dave. He was afraid that Courtney was going to jump into the habit too and didn't want that happening. The singer already had his plans on leaving her, as much as he wanted to leave her, he didn't want to leave her if she were to be addicted. He'd feel guilty and so terrible if something bad happened to her. At the end of the day, his heart was always going to beat for Courtney, no matter how hard things got.

Dave joined Kurt in bed since they shared it still. He layed his head on the pillow and ruffled his friends hair.

"Kurt, don't be that way. I'm not mad."

"I'm just thinking, that's all." Kurt reassured and continued to hold his thoughts to himself. They haunted him sometimes.

"About what?" Dave scooted closer to the blond.

"Nothing important, just go to bed Dave.."

"No Kurt, talk to me!"

"There's nothing to be talked about! Just let me sleep!"

"Kurt, I think I know what this is about."

"Maybe you do but you don't know what else is bothering me!" Kurt shoves his face in his pillow and took the blankets and wrapped his thin body in it closer, and as soon as he did that he felt Dave's hand stroking his back.

Dave sighed and looked down.

"I-I'm sorry.." He said quietly, "I didn't mean to upset you there. You know I care and I don't ever want you to hahe to feel like complete shit. I get too pushy sometimes, but I'll just leave." Dave got up and felt swarmed with his own worries as well. He only wanted to help Kurt, he assumed a little space will do him better. He didn't like the thought of leaving him by himself, but from the way the night was going he couldn't do much to help and Kurt only did open up when he had to.

The blond's head slowly rose up from his pillow and he frowned.

"You can stay here Dave, I never said you couldn't," he scratched the back of his neck, "I think I need to apologize."

"Don't Kurt. And don't feel guilty either. I'll sleep in the other bed till Krist gets back."

Dave already stood up and made his way to the bed. Kurt felt tears prickle his eyes and he turned away from Dave and felt shitty. He never intended to push his loved ones away... he always just did it, somehow.

He knew Dave cared, why couldn't he accept that?