no escape (kave)

Chapter 15

a/n: hey, I'm aware of how I haven't wrote in a couple of months, but expect more updates because I've been feeling inspired to write :)

As Kurt's situation with Courtney only seemed to be getting worse, a particular drummer made it better. He made Kurt distance his thoughts from Courtney and put them into someone who made him feel good about himself and soften out the events of his relationship.

Dave's feelings grew into what felt like love. He loved Kurt- he was like an angel, Kurt would never feel that way about himself, but to Dave whoever managed to have Kurt love them was lucky. Kurt probably never would feel that way about Dave either, he only liked him as a friend and bandmate. That was it.

The days he'd spend to make Kurt happy were fueled with a sensation fo sadness in his heart afterwards. Yeah, it made him the happiest man to see the person he loved happy, but it killed him too. It hurt him because he could make Kurt feel that way everyday but it was impossible because of many factors; being straight, already in a relationship, also Dave- out of all people, why would he want him? And just knowing that he was so close in reach, yet so far from the point he wanted him at.

Dave wouldn't let those feelings get to him, or at least not in front of his other mates. He thought it would loom weak of him because he was always there for Kurt and all of a sudden he's going to break down into a bunch of feelings he shouldn't be having in the first place? It'll hurt Kurt too. It would be a never ending cycle of hurt feelings and confusion and longing.

He couldn't make Kurt love him, but he tried. He flirted and wasn't holding back what he wanted to do. Dave made sure to never cross the line, however.

His advances always made Kurt's lips explode into a smile and his gorgeous eyes looked so full of life. Plus, Kurt had a tendency to get clingy and oh Dave loved it. He noticed how red his cheeks would turn sometimes, and this would result into more hours of writing. Kurt's recent lyrics were rather tough to dicipher, but what fun would it be if the art had only one interpretation?

Before a show Dave was chilling backstage with Krist when Kurt approached them. His eyes said it all, his eyes were full of sadness and hopelessness and all of the emotions they hated seeing on their bandmate.

"What happened?" Krist worriedly asked, Dave staring at Kurt, needing to know.

"C-Courtney..." He stuttered, being pulled in a warm imbrace from Dave as an attempt to calm Kurt down. "She o-overdosed... on heroin."

Both their eyes shot open.

"Wait is she okay?!" Krist demanded, joining in on the hug now.

"Yeah, she could've died..." Kurt's eyes swelled up with tears, "She's luckily okay but.. fuck, I almost lost her. And now I have to worry about this? I don't know what to do-" He rambled on about his worries until Dave spoke up.

"Kurt, maybe rehab? If you believe it is an issue than try sending her there? Next time you see her have a talk about it. I promise you everything's okay now, she's safe and she needs you.."

Kurt nodded and some of sadness left those eyes of his and a thankful smile spread on his lips. It was as if Dave was the one thing that kept him going from falling down into the mess of himself.

"Thank you. She's coming in a few weeks, maybe we'll talk then."

Dave felt hurt again though. It was weird, as much pain as she inflicted on Kurt, as much bruises and violent words she can scream at him, his heart still beat for her. He still worried for her, he still wanted to see her, he still wanted her to be his other half. But this time, he sensed something different, a difference that made him stop feeling sad. It was like Kurt only did care for her, not love her as much. Of course he loved her, but maybe it was breaking away from the toxic mess she spilt into him. Kurt knew that he still cared and wasn't going to stop caring, but little did Dave know that Kurt's feelings were beginning to revolve around him.

It felt more like lingering confusion that has been walking so far that it finally found a river of realization, the guitarist realized how he felt for Dave. And it wasn't crystal clear feelings, but he was aware of them versus how he was not oblivious but confused before, more like he didn't know why they were there. His heart still beat for Courtney and he cared about her, but on a romantic level he didn't want to be with her. The od scared him and he wanted to take good care of her, but she has caused too much pain on his body and mentally. Dave would've been a much better candidate, Kurt could tell that he cared.

But Courtney would be the issue, she wouldn't allow it to happen. If she found out Courtney would expose the pair due to anger and jealousy, that or perhaps threats even being made their way.

And... how can Kurt tell Dave? He'd be a nervous wreck if he told him.

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Courtney's visit came around sooner than hoped for. Kurt had all intentions to talk to her, infact he brought up his concerns for the blonde frontwoman- she pushed them away when she took out her kit, looking up at Kurt with a look in her eyes that he already could read.

"Try it... It'll help your stomach, you'll understand why I'm doing this drug. I promise to be careful, okay?"

Kurt felt persuaded and knew Courtney wouldn't take no as an answer. As he felt the killing power rush into his veins for the first time, it was the best feeling he ever experienced- he felt like shit for many years, his mental state was never great, his body always ached, now this took it away. He had nothing to be afraid of anymore, he was on top of the world. And it made him love Courtney more.