Memory Lost: A Look into the Future

Chapter 2 | Good-bye First Crush

"My parents are gone for a month so they called your parents last week to see if I could stay here. So... I moved in here." He smiles at me. I'm literally going to kill my brother. Where was he anyway? "From the looks of it, you didn't know that this arrangement was being made?"

"Yeah-" I rub my neck thinking how it would be like to be roommates with Ignacia and how I would dismember my brother's body for leaving me alone with him.

My phone rings again.

"Hello this is your other half, your twin brother, Ethan-"

"What were you thinking? You didn't even inform me about this arrangement. You better get your ass to this house in the next ten minutes or prepare to be beat." I sternly say. I wasn't someone who enjoyed terrorizing their brother, but this was a whole new ordeal.

I hung up the phone angrily.

"Sorry for that." I said. Ignacia chuckled.

"All good JC. By the way, I was wondering if I could take a shower since I just got back from a major v. major basketball game." I had seen Ignacia play basketball but didn't know that he played.

"You guys were versing computer science right?" I remembered the story I saw on Instagram.

After a few moments, a realization came across me.

What slipped my mind is how he would commute to his university which was a little more than an hour away if he started to live here.

I must have said something out loud because he answered:

"I'm transferring to your university."

I internally fan girl. Ignacia was a year older than me but he was someone that was chill enough to talk to. I guess that's why I had come to develop a crush on him.

"Ayeee, that means you'll be in the course as Brielle." He had met her a couple times when she came over. Brielle was a people's person and knew how to talk to people, whereas I needed to observe the person long enough before I became close to them and showed my loud personality that cracked puns in every conversation.

"Actually, I'm switching to the preclinical program (6 year medical school program). And since I'm a year behind, I'll have a similar time table to you." He said. I looked at him in awe. He was truly a genius. He had experience studying law and computer science. Not only that, for people who take gap years or apply at a late age to university, it is very rare to get in.

But beside my admiration for his talent I realized... he didn't fit in with my expectations. Suddenly, I felt like my crush would need to be suppressed.

"Welcome aboard." And thank-you for being my first love interest.

I tell him to help himself and to feel comfortable.

I walked to my room and shut the door.

I heaved a sigh. I open my journal and flip to then third last page.

Standard Partner
1. A guy who is smarter than her.
2. A guy who does not study the same subject as her.
3. A guy who is good-looking.
4. A guy who is okay with contractual relationships.
5. A guy who would be willing to adopt.

There is a reason why I had developed this list.

No. 1 and No. 2 I developed because I need to learn more about the world and have a different perception of the world. I needed someone who would not be competing for the same job and I definitely did not want to be compared to them. If they were smarter than me in a different subject, we would not have any financial problems as he would probably make more than me. If we study the same subject and work in the same field, I would be constantly around work the whole day.

No. 3 was a no brainer. I mean what girl doesn't want a good-looking guy. I mean I'm not asking for a Zac Efron, but someone who was pleasing to the eye. I guess this term could be controversial as sometimes I find guys with great personalities equally as attractive as hot guys. This one was a little more lenient.

No. 4 is the strangest one and it was my reason to adopt. One may call be selfish, but I didn't want to have children. I worked closely with kids, but I knew that if I wanted to succeed in reaching my goals in life, I wouldn't be able to if I was backtracked by one year in life.

Finally, No. 5 I needed so I could give my "partner" freedom to be themselves and not worry about me. I wasn't looking for love but I was instead looking for an escape from my past. I needed someone who could perhaps be a friend, but more like a roommate.

My parents were successful, but since I could speak I was expected to be mature and I would have to give up having play dates to study and develop my art skills. My mom especially didn't think that adoption was a good idea because the children would never be blood, but I believe that people change based on their environment. I want a child who no one would pressure and I could support. Since my brother and I both were potential heirs for my dad's company, they would probably hand down the company to my brother, but to diminish any faltering feelings I needed to grow apart from them.

I'm truly grateful for my parents financial support in my education, but they were the reason I had borderline depression when I started high school.

They pressured me to succeed from a young age. When I began to ask for a stronger backing for education, they paid my tutoring but I had to find the tutor places.

My friends at school had their parents force them to go to tutoring places and I thought that their parents were fortunate enough to care.

While mine, said to deal with my problems by myself. When I asked something they would just get mad at me for wasting their time. If you can treat your child like they don't exist just because you think that your blood won't leave you, then the opposite must be true. Adoptive parents would probably treat their children better as they are worried that they will be replaced should the child look for their biological parents. I continue this tangent of thought in my head.

Then I switch over to think about my past.

Sabrina's mom was a psychologist and had begun a casual conversation when I was staying over for a project. She knew I was interested in how people communicated and as we discussed she found that I showed typical signs of depression.

I started buying dopamine and serotonin supplements to balance the deficiency in neurotransmitters that often cause depression, which from my research. I felt that logically approaching the problem and getting over it myself was the best.

By grade 10, I was dealing supplements but buying high dosages from one of the goth kids in my art class. I was well known by the people in my school especially during exam time, when I ventured the realm of Aderall.

I had stopped taking the supplements when I started to deal, but when there were suspicions of skewed results, I dropped the business. My story doesn't end there though.

I come back from my train of thought.

I guess the reason why I laugh a lot with my friends is due to my inner pain.

I smile and block out all feelings listening to the music overtake me.

Ignacia was cancelled from my potential partner list.

But... as my thoughts continued to wonder I realized that I wasn't thinking of the boy next door I had a crush on for eight years, but rather the mysterious boy Kai.

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New Characters:

Ignacia:
• Latino boy next door
• transferring to study medicine
• currently living with Jesse and her brother Ethan

Ethan:
• more info given in the next chapter