Pure Innocence (Lauren/You)

Chapter 15

The next morning I found myself squished by weight on top of me but also to my side where my arm had practically lost all of its feeling. My groggy eyes opened to see Camila's brunette hair scattered all over my face as the smaller girl was wrapped around me like a koala bear, still peacefully sleeping. I turned my head and blew her hair out of my face so that I could see Normani also asleep where she was gripping onto my arm tightly. There was no way I was going to be able to escape both girls who were practically laying on top of me so I pretty much just accepted my fate and continued to lay sprawled out on the couch with my legs still on top of the coffee table. I reached my unoccupied arm up so that I could brush Camila's hair out of my face because now it was starting to restrict my breathing ability. Granted, I could have been feeling a lot worse right now had Normani and Camila not shown up to try to help.

They kept my mind off of the horrible decisions I had made the day before and off of the girl I was hopeless falling for. I didn't know why my life had to turn out like this and why I had to fall for the one girl I couldn't have. I wished I was physically capable of caring for someone like Lauren but the harsh truth was that I didn't know how. I didn't know what I needed to do in order to make it so that Lauren didn't fall unhappy while she was under my care. Maybe that was something I should have done before I gave up so quickly. Then again I couldn't do much about it now other than just sulk to myself and try to get over my huge mistake. I sighed to myself before leaning my head back against the couch in hopes that it would stretch out my sore body.  These girls could party all night long I'm sure because they did nothing but keep me up all night long until I absolutely could not hang any longer.

I guess they achieved their goal of keeping my mind off of Lauren. I actually found out the Camila only knew I had gotten heartbroken by another girl, not that the other girl was my autistic patient Lauren Jauregui. I could actually be grateful for Normani that she didn't tell Camila literally everything about the situation because I don't think Camila could keep her trap shut. It wasn't that Camila loved drama or that she loved starting shit, but she just literally had no filter in front of anyone and I was nervous that the wrong person could be listening. Of course the brunette had my best intentions at heart and what would happen, most likely, is that she would try to ask me about the situation and try to make me feel better, but she would let out too much information to the wrong ears on accident. I could never blame Camila if that were to happen because that's just how she is, but I was glad that we didn't have to take that chance at this point. 

My stomach began to growl lightly as my hunger struck me early this morning. I still didn't know what the exact time what but it seemed as if the sun had just barely risen in the sky as it was still a little dark outside. I was able to push Camila off of me and onto Normani who immediately snuggled into the small Cuban who had taken my place. I went to the kitchen to make myself my morning coffee and some for if the girls decided they wanted some too before I grabbed my laptop so that I could sit down on the stool just underneath the counter. I fired up the laptop and went to the first search engine that popped up for researching more about autism. Subconsciously, my hand lifted up to my mouth and I nervously bit down on my nails as my eyes scanned the page full of facts about autism and what it's caused by. I realized I may have thought I knew more than the average person about autism but in all reality I didn't know shit.

Each new fact kept me on the edge of the seat as the scent of freshly brewed coffee started to fill my nose. I quickly looked to my left to see that the coffee was just starting to brew before I looked over to my right, seeing the two girls still sleeping while they were snuggled up to one another. I didn't know how I could have been so stupid as to not have done my research before allowing Lauren to stay at my house for an extended period of time. All of this was making much more sense than my brain could handle so early in the morning but something in me prevented me from stopping. My eyes continued to scrutinize every page that came up on the screen while I tried so desperately to understand exactly what I was reading. Much of it made sense but other parts were way too complicated for my scope as a person trying to deal with another who had autism, but even too complicated for me as a physician. I don't specialize in autism for obvious reasons now; this was way too complicated for my brain to handle. A page I had pulled up listed several important factors for autism.