𝗹𝗲𝘁𝘁𝗲𝗿𝘀 𝘁𝗼 𝘆𝗼𝘂 | jinji

"one: the after effects"

SEOUL UNIVERSITY
09:24 AM
[ JINYOUNG ]

i stare at the board as i glance over to jisoo, worried.

she's been awfully quiet for the past few days, which was something i definitely find weird.

i snap once the professor catches my attention, spitting out a question as he snaps his fingers and as his orbs look forward to what i was about to say next.

once spitting out a foolish yet a common-sense answer, the class laughs, and i laugh along, too. i glance back at jisoo and i see that she's barely interested.

"what a thought, mr. park jinyoung. how about you, ms. kim jisoo? what do you think?" jisoo stands up, barely making eye contact with the class and focusing on the professor's orbs instead.

with an essay-like answer, short but brief, the class nods along, as if to say of course, that's kim jisoo, and the professor agrees.

"precisely the answer i wanted, ms. kim! alright, open your textbooks to page 227." i don't do so without glancing one last time at jisoo, who already took her seat, and scanned her book for the page, cheek plopped lazily against her palm.

my eyebrows crease.

what is with her nowadays?

END OF FIRST CLASS

10:30 AM[ JISOO ]

i walk out of class, books tucked in one hand as my backpack slung on my shoulder. my cold expression never changed within the day, not because i forced it to stay still, but because there was rather no need to be happy.

as i walk, i come across jinyoung, who was in the middle of getting something from his locker, which was directly above mine. i have to wait, looking at the busy hallway as he searches for his books.

i reach for my small locker below him just to be able to reach my notebook quickly. as i did, i feel a stare burning the side of my face, which i turn to.

park jinyoung.

"hey, you've been kind of sad lately?" he reaches out his hand for meaningless contact, which i only look at and ignore right after, looking back directly at his orbs.

"am not, park jinyoung," i say, faking a smile. "probably just your imagination." his expression falters a bit into a frown, but he converts it into a soft smile in a rush.

"i see. well, see you 'round then." he shuts his locker, and i turn my back on him.

the same, aching feeling.

been there, done that.

A WEEK LATER
MUSIC CLASS
04:32 PM
[ JINYOUNG ]

i wonder what's the matter with jisoo, i think as i glance over at my uninterested partner. we were partnered for a short performance, just a vocal duet, that's all. for some reason, jisoo doesn't even want to look in my direction.

with our seats close, i lower my head, making an attempt to catch her attention as she tries to write her notes. once our eyes meet, hers widen, and i let out a smile.

"can't you do that later? come on, let's just finish this one first," i plead. jisoo nods in a very subtle way that i could barely have seen it, but soon her eyes focus on mine, which was pretty good enough.

in less than an hour, we finish planning. everyone else left, done with their work as well. despite being finished with our business, i can't help but feel concerned every time i glance at jisoo's eyes—they feel so dead.

before she could leave the room, i grab her by the arm softly.

"uh, can we talk?" jisoo's eyebrows meet, but she obliges, putting her bag back down on her seat. she takes a seat, herself, and i do the same on the chair beside hers.

she stares at me, eyes remaining cold and seemingly untouched.

for some reason, as i stare at them longer, it makes me feel as if something has hurt her so deeply.

"is something wrong?" she presses her lips into a tight line, avoiding my gaze and shaking her head. "i hope you can tell me so that, you know—"

"nothing's wrong." her sad eyes turn cold as they meet mine once again.

it was evident.

she feels hurt. the way her eyes would look sad and disappointed when they gazed at afar, to the way her formerly fragile orbs would become cold and fierce when they met mine.

"did i— do anything?" i hesitate, nibbling at my lip.

"is this what you're going to talk about, park jinyoung?" she spits out my name as if if was the most despised thing she has ever said. "if it is, i'm not having any of it." she grabs her bag in a rush, furious as she slings it onto her shoulder.

that's it.

with my short temper controlling my actions, i grab her by the shoulder, gently trapping her against a wall to make sure she doesn't escape. i look her straight in the eye, which she never actually obliged to return.

the letters.

"tell me what's wrong and i'll let you go," i say, pissed. "that is, if you don't want to waste your freaking time so much."

i just wanted to talk about the letters, and the reason she felt that way.

i trace her hazel orbs, the way they would revert back to a charcoal color when light was nowhere in contact with it, and the way they reddened, tears close to escaping from her fragile eyes—everything was evident.

"it's nothing." she wipes at a tear that successfully goes free on her cheek. "it doesn't have anything to do with you." she pushes me by the shoulder forcefully, which took me by surprise, and taking the chance, she goes for the exit, whilst grabbing her bag.

i hiss, pressing at my shoulder which was starting to form a bruise.

why am i doing this, exactly?

i'm not even interested in her.

suddenly, nayeon peeks by the door, my startled eyes meeting hers.

"uh— is jisoo still around? i kind of borrowed something from her so i'm here to return it." she shifts her gaze uncomfortably, and i do, too. regardless, i draw closer, grabbing the key she held out. "i once had to go to her place urgently for a project, so she gave me a spare during class, and i escaped to grab the project in a rush. i won't be coming back for the next two weeks, so i can't keep this waiting, i guess." she keeps talking as she handed the key over.

i chuckle. "why are you blabbering so much?" she blushes. "i didn't mean to."

"cute," i whisper, probably barely audible as i put the key inside my pocket. i glance back at her, and she avoids her gaze once i turn towards her.

"s—see you around, i guess." i see her take her steps hesitantly deeper within the school hall until she was out of sight.

where was i again?

oh right, jisoo.

but that's a fact—i don't even like her.

i like nayeon.

no one else.

right?