𝗹𝗲𝘁𝘁𝗲𝗿𝘀 𝘁𝗼 𝘆𝗼𝘂 | jinji

from, jinyoung.

TO KIM JISOO
TOKYO, JAPAN

. . .

April 20, 2020
Monday
Tokyo, Japan

Jisoo,

You bad girl.

Even if it breaks my heart, I wanted to say congratulations, since I wasn't able to get the chance to do so. If you were wondering, we've arrived home, safe and sound. Though Hyunjin still feels sad and I feel like he's still scarred from what he saw, he keeps on putting up this front, saying that he'll be sure to take care of me and that we don't have to worry.

Congratulations on your wedding. You looked stunning.

I don't know if it's a crime to want to object a beautiful marriage, but for a second there, I wanted to go ahead and object your relationship.

It could have been us. Why didn't you tell me, by the way?

When you looked into Junmyeon's eyes and when he looked into yours, even I was touched. It was definitely something you deserved. Even if I pleaded it to be us, I believe it wouldn't have worked out the way we hoped.

Do you know what? Hyunjin really wants me to marry someone else. He's really young, and it surprises me how open he is with this whole divorce thing.

To be honest, I'm very afraid. Afraid if Hyunjin will grow well, because what if he grows up, asking for a mother, blaming me nonstop for not having Nayeon beside us? I'm afraid that in the end, he might just end up putting me aside or throwing me away, just like what she did to us.

I don't want that to happen.

And I'm sorry.

I'm sorry if I meddled with your feelings all along; perhaps I was just very oblivious—it was high school, after all. I'm sorry if I meddled even until today, that even though you're happily married, you'd have to read a letter from your ex crush.

I'm sorry if all I've caused for you was pain, and even when I wanted to love you, I couldn't and that I was too late. I'm terribly sorry.

Anyway, I don't want my last letter to you to be excessively sad.

Always know that even though we're not properly acquainted anymore, you can always come back to Korea to ask for my help, if you need it. Hyunjin will be looking forward to seeing you again, too. He says that you're the 'pretty noona whom my dad used to like a lot'.

See you around, Jisoo.

Be happy.

I love you.

From,
Jinyoung

. . .

to the pretty noona who my dad likes a lot,

hi! i pray that you are okay, noona. i want to call you noona instead of auntie, because auntie seems to be for old people only. i pray that you are always happy with your handsome husband, but i know my dad is more handsome than him. ^-^

noona, can you just stay with us instead? my dad seems lonely. very lonely :(( he is not happy with me always. i think his heart is broken after what happened to him and mommy. i hope that one time, you can come and have fun with us when you visit korea :))

noona, do you want a secret? i miss mommy, a lot. even if he has another family, i still miss her, is that wrong? i think i should hate her for what she did to daddy, but i just can't. i miss her so much :((

but then, i will be sure to protect daddy from anything else that can hurt him! i can promise that to him and you. i know how much he likes you, even until now.

it makes me happy to see him smile when i ask him to talk about you, noona. when he tells stories of both him and you when you were in high school, he looks happy :))

please come to korea, noona. we'll be happier with you around. when i grow up, i will make sure to give both you and daddy presents! ^-^

what i say here, i hope we can keep as our little secret, noona. good thing my dad allowed me to write to you too.

take care!! we love you ♡

love,
hyunjin :))

. . .

author's note:

thank you all for reading [letters to you] until the end! to be honest, part of the story is true to life (the thoughts behind the letters). i am blessed to have such amazing readers, and i hope that this story has somehow touched you in a way. to be able to touch your hearts is more than enough for me. as i wrote this story, especially this portion (this chapter, i mean), part of my heart aches for the characters especially jinyoung uwu.

anyway, hoping you will read my other jinji fanfics! bless u all always especially during this pandemic. i'm always active at twitter so you can simply talk to me on @.ryunify :))