This Is The Beat Of My Heart | A Star Is Born ✔️

8.

"Cause if this is the life, then who'd argue?"
-Two Door Cinema Club, "This Is The Life"

XX

The next few days for Ally and Jackson were a bit mundane, but they couldn't say that they hated it. Sure, things were starting to move in a sluggish sort of way, and routines were starting to form, but they didn't mind. They deserved to slow down a little bit.

Ally hadn't really lived a routine sort of life since living with her father, ever since then things had been quite sporadic. Before Jackson, life was much different. Go to work, maybe go out with Ramon for some time, and then head home; cleaning and helping out with other work around the house with her father.

With Jackson, life took her to places that she never expected. Things began to move fast, so fast that she felt like she would end up with whiplash. It wasn't a bad thing, though. She had always loved being with Jackson, even when things got difficult. She loved him so much, she didn't know what things would be like if she had never met him. But, their lifestyles were very different, and once things started to taking off with her music as well, she realized that this was how things were now. And she hadn't been able to look back since.

Jackson had always been one to live a sporadic and crazy life, it was what he knew. The calmest he had been was marrying Ally and settling down, but even then, things got eventful at times.

After rehab, they both were expecting things to not be that wild anymore. With Jackson's addictions worked on, they could finally start to maybe think about other things. But obviously, that wasn't the case.

But now, with Jackson going to therapy and with Ally being pregnant, things took on a melancholy sort of routine, one that they both were far from used to at this point.

Jackson liked this, he quickly came to realize. Sure, he wouldn't change anything from the past because it made him who he was, he just wished that this could've happened sooner. That Ally didn't have to put up with his nonsense for so long. He knew she would hate him thinking like that. But, it was true to him.

She loved their life as it was right now as well. It was good to see Jackson bettering himself, and coming home so happy and full of life. She missed that side of him. It made her upset to see the side that blamed himself, and the one that thought she was better off without him.

He would come home excited to tell her about how his sessions went, and how good it felt to be talking to someone and finally getting himself back in track.

He no longer apologized for "being the worst", he no longer told her how much better she would be if he wasn't around. He didn't blame himself for anything anymore, which was good. His addictions weren't his fault, things that happened as a result weren't his fault.

But, there were things that he still wished he hadn't done or said.

"I... didn't mean to do that before." He told her one day as they were eating dinner together.

"Do what before? What are you talking about?" She asked him, looking up to meet his eye.

"You know, constantly tryin' to make you pity me. Always sayin' that I'm the worst. My therapist told me today that it wasn't a good thing to constantly be doin'. That it was partially my insecurity, but also me needing reassurance just to make sure you wouldn't leave. I don't wanna guilt you, or make you feel like you have to stay with me. Ever. So, I'm just tellin' you. I didn't mean it in that way, and I would never do that to you."

"I know you didn't mean it as a way to force me to stay. Trust me, if I didn't want to be here I wouldn't be. You know what. I've told you that."

"I know you wouldn't be. Listen, I love you a whole lot, okay?"