kik → a.i ⋆ c.h

19

-TRIGGER WARNING: MENTIONS OF SUICIDE, MENTAL BREAKDOWNS, SELF HARM, DEPRESSION-

     "Don't! Oh my god, stop! Jesus fuck-"

     "You kiss your mother with that mouth?" Ashton laughs breathlessly, straddling Luke's hips.

     "The only person I kiss is you, dumbass." Luke rolls his eyes, trying to remove his hands from where they were pinned to the bed by Ashton.

     "Yeah, I'd hope so." Ashton replies, leaning down to plant a kiss on Luke's lips.

     "I love you." Luke smiles up at Ashton.

     "I love you more." Ashton grins.

     "Impossible."

     "Well, it's true." Ashton whispers as his thumb traces Luke's lips. "Because I love you more than any human being has ever loved someone."

     "Luke." Luke zones back in as Arzaylea calls his name.

     "What?" Luke furrows his brows at Arzaylea.

     "You just zoned out for like ten minutes." Arzaylea states.

     "I was-was just thinking. Sorry." Luke shrugs.

     "About what?"

     "Nothing." Luke looks away.

     "Really? Dude, you look like you're about to cry." Arzaylea points out.

     "I'm good." Luke sighs as he leans back in his chair.

     "You're so not." Arzaylea crosses her arms. Luke stays silent. "Alright." Arzaylea rolls her eyes. "If you decide to tell me what's going on, I'll listen, okay?"

      "Okay." Luke nods. "But seriously, I'm fine. So if you're waiting for that conversation, you'll be waiting for a while."

     Arzaylea hums in agreement and moves on. Luke is halfway fine with avoiding the conversation, even though deep down, he knows he should probably have it. He's the farthest from fine and he feels like he's drowning, but he can't deal with it. He knows ending things with Ashton was a good idea, but everything within him was rejecting it and the things he was currently feeling could be compared to the way he felt when he left Ashton that night. Luke has to be fine though, since he's the one that did it. He's fine.

     Luke curls himself into a ball on the couch as soon as Ashton hangs up the phone. He regrets everything.

       The dogs jump on the couch and begin pawing and whining at Luke. "Fuck." Luke mumbles, wrapping his arms around the dogs and pulling them to himself. "I'm sorry babies." He whispers.

     Luke cuddles the dogs and cries for about three hours before he retreats to his bedroom and continues crying. "God, I'm so fucking dumb. He's probably fine." He chuckles. "And I'm talking to my dogs, fuck. Wow. I'm calling Michael, this is pathetic. I know you guys can't understand me, it's fine."

     "Luke, it's three in the-"

     "Please come over." Luke sniffles.

     "What's going on?" Michael asks as he quickly gets out of bed.

     "You're gonna hate me but I'll tell you everything when you get here, I promise." Luke chokes back a sob, leaning against the headboard as he covers his mouth to avoid sobbing directly into the phone.