Letters to Prince

Letters To Prince, Chapter I

My Friend, My Heart

Marie's POV

January 27, 2018

Dearest Prince,

I have missed you so since you passed away which believe me I know is foolish. I never met you, but as surely as my name is Marie, I loved you and still do. Yes I loved you as an entertainer, and admired you as a vocalist, lyricist, composer, arranger, multi instrumentalist, and the list goes on and on. But my real fascination with you came from your shyness and from the pain that I saw so often in your eyes in your photographs. My name is Marie and I am your age, and have been ill for a while now. I while my days away listening to your music, going to work when I can and trying to survive for as long as God chooses to keep me here. My illness is not curable, and is progressive, and eventually will kill me. Like most people with cancer, I have good days and bad days. Lately more bad than good, primarily due to the treatments, but there are still some good ones mixed in too. I have decided to write to you because I have no other way to express my grief and my sense of loss where you are concerned.

If I tell my children about my feelings for you they will take me to the nut house and maybe that is where I belong. I only know that I wish I had known you so I could have told you how important you were to me in my life. I was a very attractive woman when I was young and I had my share of suitors and tried marriage more than once...but they ended in divorce both times. Both times unfaithfulness was involved in my husbands and I guess I gave up after that. I was often disappointed with you, especially at the time my marriages were ending, hearing about your unfaithfulness to those you professed to love. But as I learned more about you I understood some of it...although I would have liked to have known directly from you why? Regardless, the fact that a man could be as kind as you were and still be unfaithful helped me not to hate the men that I divorced. It allowed me to still see the good in them because there was some despite their selfishness in being unfaithful and hurtful to me and our children.. It helped me to forgive, as I had forgiven you.

Surely some of the woman you were with loved you for you and you only...and not the money or fame or celebrity. I know I did. Yes I did. I can say that and know it is true. If you had not done well in music or became jaded with it, and had chosen to work in a plant or a factory, I would have wanted to be with you anyway. I loved your desire to help others. Your effort to keep going despite all the pain you endured from your parents, wives, girlfriends, record labels and the loss of your precious children. I would have been happy to be with you by your side and be your friend and your lover to share in your dreams no matter the shape they took. Why? Because I was and remain very attracted to your smile, your humor, your amazing sensuousness and your desire to do everything you did well and because I wanted to comfort you through those times in life when you were wounded. I know very well what it is like to have no one to comfort you when you are hurting. I would have wanted to help you heal your hurts, not just push them out of sight and try to keep them out of mind. Prince I would have wanted to truly love you...and I still do want those things despite the fact you are not here. I would have wanted to feel those things coming to me from you as well.

I would love to talk with you about Heaven and what it is like. I would like to know if you are happy there and with people that love you and that you love. I know you are with Denise and Amir and I suppose that is what you looked forward to after being with Jesus, and perhaps your parents too. I also know that I am happy that you are with your son, and jealous that your are with Denise...yes I know that is crazy, but it is honestly how I feel. I would like to know whatever you would share with me about the secret desires hidden in your heart, your music, your relationship with our Lord Jesus Christ and any and everything else you were willing to share. I would like to know you! And if you wanted, I would like you to know me too.

Well so much for the ramblings of an aging, sickly woman...just know that you mattered very much to so many here on earth and you mattered so much to me and still do. I will write to you again soon.

I love you Prince,

Marie

When Marie had finished with her letter she put it into the leather valise she kept her important papers in. Carefully folding it, she zipped the valise up and put it back in her bottom desk drawer. She then went and got a little something to eat and prepared for bed. She would go to work tomorrow morning if she could. But for now she would do what she did every night. She would climb in bed and cry herself to sleep. No one understood her loneliness and if they did, they didn't care or couldn't in the way she needed. She knew there were others who felt that way, there had to be, but she never really connected with them. Her children were busy with their own lives and although she knew they loved her they could not touch that place inside her that had wanted a mate all of her life but had not encountered a person that she trusted after her late 30's. They could not fill the place in her heart that she had wanted to share with Prince. He probably would have only hurt her more anyway. Remember that Marie, he would have just hurt you more anyway. Marie sighed, climbed into bed and cried herself to sleep.