My Professor's Secret

22|

twenty-two

After enduring what seemed to be endless renditions of classic Christmas carols, tonight's mixer concluded. Christian—and Meghan wished me a Merry Christmas then vanished into the night hand and hand. Because most of our time at the mixer was spent apart from one another, It was Christian that informed me of Taylor's early exit. Apparently she had given Tony a call and he scooped her up before it ended, leaving me alone to fend for myself; though I didn't mind. It was obvious she wasn't in the partying mood and I couldn't blame her. We had just said goodbye to our friend. At least with Tony she could have a distraction actually worth the hassle.

Not only that, it gave me enough time to channel the intensity of my worry elsewhere. With Taylor being gone with Tony, I wouldn't have to explain to her why I wouldn't have been able to walk home with her afterwards. Or bother having to explain why Trevor's car would be the one parked outside our hall waiting for me. At least now it wouldn't involve me fabricating a lie about my future whereabouts.

The courtyard thinned pretty quickly and once the crowd dwindled to a few stragglers and resident advisors—with the exemption of Presley—working to disperse the fire and gather leftover packages of marshmallows and hot chocolate. I pulled out the device lodged in the back pocket of my jeans anticipating the time. Midnight was only shy of two hours and there was a message from Professor Thornton time stamped over thirty minutes ago asking where we'd meet. In loo of the stragglers, the R.A.'s must've been assigned to stay until all students were safely tucked away in our dorms because none of them moved an inch after extinguishing the pit fire.

I shot Professor Thornton a quick message with details explaining where we could meet. The safest spot happened to be the front entrance of the library. There we could avoid being seen and I'd be able to soak up the warmth inside until Professor found me.

Today's forecast of light snow flurries throughout the night remained even on my pursuit of the library.

Upon arriving, I found myself pacing in front of the locked doors, victim to the freezing cold. The darkness made it impossible to see, but distant laughter traveled through the chilly air. With majority of the staff and student's gone on vacation, it left the rest of us to practically do whatever the hell we wanted. School grounds would still be monitored, but with much less precision. I had no complaints. Well, maybe one. Since there was no reason to study, the library was no longer available after hours. Sadly I hadn't thought that far ahead on my walk over. At least it still hadn't gotten as cold as it would've been if I were back home.

Amongst being locked out of the library alone in the cold, Professor's delay left me no other choice but to choke down the distaste Christian's conversation left me to pounder. Until then I felt entitled to the frustration and disappointment tainting me against my father and his choices. And initially I had Christian's anger to validate mines. Now, it all seemed like misplaced ultimatums I'd been trying to force Dad to abide by in order to keep me in his life.

In all actuality my behavior was not much from Meghan's. It didn't matter that I hadn't been pursuing a lawsuit against him. I was still trying to gaslight him into surrendering his happiness for sakes that benefited only me since my brother no longer felt the same. Who was I to judge anyone when I struggled to allow my own father the simple pleasures of life? I felt ashamed to say the least. All that pointless pouting and for what? To claim dominance over my father's love life?

Professor Thornton's black car screeched to a halt the moment the decision to apologize to my dad became necessary. I made a mental note to call him first thing tomorrow and lather him with apologies until I absolved myself of all the guilt I was harboring.