Liar

Chapter 7

Searing pain cut through my head even as I woke up. I was immune, I finally understood. I remembered everything. I got out of bed and quietly ran down stairs to make some food. It could have been anything that would get me FAR away from him without obviously running away. I looked at the date on my phone. The... 19th? How long had I genuinely been asleep? I had to leave or find a way to get out of this situation and quick. 

I focused on the food, trying my absolute best to produce good food and de-stress. I was feeling a little ill in all honesty. My stomach was cramping. He's doing this. Why are you still with him? He clearly doesn't love you. I shook away those voices. He may have wiped my memory twice but he failed both times and lied to me more times than he even realized. That didn't mean that he didn't care about me. or at least not my well being. 

He flung you clear across the room without being anywhere near you, dumb ass. I shivered at that memory. Not to mention your mental health took a STEEP decline, just saying. My conscience was fighting every excuse I was using to stay with him. Because I knew and deserved better. I served us both plates and started to eat. 

He came downstairs, as if on cue. He kissed my cheek and greeted me. I smiled and returned it. His skin was a scary  gray color once again and how I could have ignored it all this time. He and I ate our waffles in peace and made small talk but mostly ate together. 

Smiling at him was close to painful for me but I wanted to live to see 20. I wanted my degree at the very least. I leaned on his shoulder and tried my hardest to not seem like I remembered. What if you end up dead? Than would you care to leave him when you had the chance? My eyes widened at the dark thought. What scared me most was it could certainly happen.

 I wasn't afraid of losing myself trying to stay with him because my goal wasn't to break up even if I did end up running away for a while. All I knew was abuse so I might as well have the lesser of two evils.

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I looked down at her somewhat scared. If she still knew I would be devastated. Not only would she hate me for wiping her memory so many times but she would remember me accidentally almost killing her and my lies. I wanted to be angry or cry or scream but I couldn't. I had to hold it together right now. Protecting her by lying and being possessed at the same time weren't just stressful, they were- If I had my way her soul would have been mine to claim years ago. I couldn't believe she trusted us even after he'd been lying and I knew she knew.

 I would wait it out. If he really wanted his secret protected and I wanted her dead, if she tried once more I would take over, take her out and leave him. I wish I had a different host but I need her soul- My skin grew colder and I was feeling a little clammy my skin was noticeably gray and this was the most self- conscious I've felt ever. I wish I wasn't so secretive so I could tell her what was happening. But that would be so difficult in and of itself. 

She didn't say much of anything which was what was scaring me so much. She cleaned our dishes than got close to me from the side. I looked at her, confused but she planted a sweet kiss on my lips- rip her lip off you idiot- and pulled back a little, smiling. I was almost horrified, but smiling as well. Her smile was no faker than mine right now. it looked unnatural and forced. 

She knew and I felt like absolute shit. She went upstairs to our room. I got up and walked into my office. I closed the door and sat in my chair. I had everything I could need. I had connections, degrees, I had a house and no debt at such a young age yet I couldn't stop hurting or pushing people away. I had respect and admiration but our relationship was failing.