Liar

Chapter 15

I didn't feel anything as I lie in bed. Keith stared into my eyes blankly, nothing in his eyes. Nothing. He was across the room. Just standing amd watching. But he was empty and felt nothing. He was idle, almost like a statue. He wasn't looking at me in any way. Just a plain look. I got up and stood face to face with him.

All I could feel was hurt. Not angry, or hateful. I didn't know what had happened to me. But I wasn't loved like I deserved to be. I wasn't treated with basic respect. I wasn't worthy of the truth. And I wasn't really who he loved and even if I was, he had shitty methods.

I remembered when he was sweet and kind. Still secretive, yes, but he loved me so much more. I jumped and screeched as he held my hand. Still barely looking at me, he opened the door and led me through it. I was in his room now. I wanted him to let go but he effortlessly held on without having to squeeze. I looked around, worried.

I spotted the same figure that held me staring out of the window on the other side of the room. He finally let my hand go. I walked towards him. He was holding his arms to his torso.  His skin was no longer pale and in fact, warmer.  Tears flooded his eyes. He looked out the window, miserable and crying. He sounded so far away yet some how so close. As hurt as I was, I felt the necessity to help him. I moved in closer, next to him. He paused. His mouth never moved but I heard words... " It's gotten so bad that I don't even know who I am anymore..."

" When you told me what was happening at home, I wanted to be your place of solace. I wanted to protect you. I wanted to love you and keep you safe... I didn't want this any more than you did. "

" Now all I feel is emptiness and you don't even want to see me anymore." He seemed to choke. I looked closer at his face. Blood streamed from his eyes as he held himself and sobbed. " I don't deserve your forgiveness at all... But baby I'm sorry. " I kneeled and wiped the blood away. It was all over his face.and neck.

I wiped it away and he was still a bloody mess. His eyes met mine and my eyes immediately closed. I wasn't supposed to look into his eyes, something told me.  I opened my eyes and he wasn't just bloody. He was bruised terribly around his body. A black ring burned around his arm and he looked almost numb.

I quickly looked towards the door.  He looked at me " He is suffering. He's suffering a bit differently, but he's paying for his actions. You don't have to get back together with him. But you must forgive him as what happened wasn't planned nor purposeful." My thoughts were stirred " What do you mean? Who are you?" I asked cautiously.

His eyes still looked empty. " Maybe one day we'll meet if fate takes us there but... For now you're better off not knowing. Take time for your heart to heal. Than forgive him. His life is now in your hands, sweet."

" What?!"

" Don't you realize he could never forgive himself if you never forgave him?" 

I looked at the blood on my hands from rubbing his blood away. I let him fall into my arms. I didn't care about the blood. I knew he was sorry. I knew he would try to do better. But I needed time. I needed a lot of space.

Blood dripped from the ceiling and filled the room. My guide disappeared and locked us in. We would drown in blood....
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I sat on the couch, bored. Well, not bored. Maybe empty. And bitter towards myself, as I couldn't seem to stop that.

" I just wanna feel something, I just wanna feel I just wanna feel something, I just wanna feel something really real so that I can really-" I stopped the music and changed it. Those lyrics hit way too close. And you know what they say, anything that gets too close to you generally ends  up broken or dead.

I felt insane, telling myself to shut up all the time. Silencing an inner critic, which I hadn't had this severely in a long time. I remembered a time when all I wanted was to die. To just close my eyes, fall to my death and never get back up. Someone stopped me. She was a complete stranger to me. She still is and always will be.

With frizzy ginger hair and dark brown eyes, She looked geeky and wiry thin in her plaid jumper. But she told me to stop " What would you care?" I asked shaking my head. She had hot tears in her eyes. " Because I tried that already. Having your family cry over you while you're in the hospital only brings another type of pain. And if you do succeed..." She wiped a small tear, her face hot and red " You don't get a second chance. I know everything hurts. But this isn't the end " I thought about it, quickly realizing that I didn't even care. And neither would they.

I let my body free fall and she screamed. I never saw her afterward. I saw her in classes... But never outside of school. After the day I fell off of the school roof, she absolutely disappeared forever. I was only 13. There were no scars, as I got rid of them but inside I knew I wouldn't try again. I'd be better. It felt like a crime to say I still feel the same things. Would I even-" Keith!" Despite the limits put on my powers, everything was in the air, floating effortlessly. I put it all down.

I drank some water but everyone in the kitchen was uneasy.

I was smart... A little. I didn't change over night, but I thought while I was still alive, that I'd at least put in work for what I wanted. There were guys and there were girls. But than there was me. I don't brag but the amount of glances I got from girls and guys collectively almost made me uncomfortable. It gave me confidence, at least. I dated a guy once in my sophomore year. It didn't go so well. I wanted romance out of that relationship, not sex. Than I dated a few girls and I did notice a common theme that they all wanted to "fix me" but that wasn't what I wanted in a partner at all....