Social Norms

Chapter 6

I have given Logan a ride home every day this week, even though we've only worked on the project once. He's also had dinner with my family two more times. It's funny, when Ryder first started dating Taylor, it sort of created a hole or void in my life. And, now, it feels like Logan somehow has just filled that void completely, only he's more than filled it. Ryder never danced in my kitchen or had a real dinner with my family. Ryder just loafs around our house and pilfers leftovers from the fridge.

I'm starting to feel closer to Logan than I ever did with Ryder and not just because I like Logan in that way. Deep down, it kind of makes me feel bad that I could replace Ryder so easily. I've known him my whole life, and I've only known Logan (really known him) for a couple of months...but it feels like I've known him forever.

How did he slide into my life so easily?

Sometimes I feel like I'm trapped in the friend zone with him, but sometimes I feel like it's maybe something more. All I know is that if I'm doomed to only be friends with Logan, I'll take it, and happily too. I'd rather have him in my life as a friend than not in my life at all. I don't want things to ever go back to the way they were before.

Friday morning before third period, Ryder comes by my locker. "Guess what, Pepple?" he asks. "What?" I reply. He grins wide, "Taylor's having a poker party at her house tonight." "That's cool," I say. "You'll clean up, playing with those guys." He says, "I told her how good you are at poker, and she said she's going to invite you sometime today."

A nervous feeling starts crawling up my spine, "I don't know, Ryder. I really don't want to go to a party at her house. I won't have any friends there." I realize how bad that sounds as soon as it comes out of my mouth. I hastily add, "You know what I mean. I can't fit in with them like you can. I'll feel like an impostor."

Ryder looks unfazed, "I'll be there, Pepple, and I'll make sure everything's cool. Besides, you know it's been forever since we last hung out together. I miss you." This, of course, pulls on my heartstrings. "Okay...I'll think about it." He smiles, "Cool." He then turns to leave and says, "Later, Pepple. I'll see you tonight."

Great! I'll see you tonight at an awkward Idol party that I don't want to go to, but you're forcing me to go to anyway. Thanks.

I turn the corner, and Logan and I walk to English class together. As Ryder forewarned, Taylor says to me as soon as I sit down, "Hey, Kristina, I'm hosting a poker game at my house tonight, and Ryder says you're the one to beat. Do you want to come?"

No, I really, really don't.

I nervously look from Taylor to Logan and back, "Um, I don't know. I'm really not that good of a poker player. You know how Ryder likes to exaggerate." Logan is looking at me and smiling, "Only a card shark or a ringer says they're no good. Come on, Kristina, it'll be fun." Butterflies, again!

"Are you going?" I ask him. He nods, "Yeah, of course." I smile, "Okay, I'll go then." Taylor beams, "Cool. We'll pick you up around eight, okay?"

She's going to pick me up? I have to ride in Taylor's sweet Audi? Really? "Okay," I reply. Taylor says to both Logan and I, "We're going to do it tournament style. You need twenty dollars to buy in. The blinds will start out at two dollars and increase every hand. We'll play until one person wins the whole pot." We both nod as Mrs. Harrison starts class.

***

I'm getting ready for this Idol poker party event, and I'm super nervous. I've changed outfits three times already. I finally decide that I just have to be myself, so I wear a plain long-sleeve red t-shirt with black leggings, my Doc Marten's, and my favorite black cardigan. I fix my make-up a little more than normal, but nothing over the top.