Social Norms

Chapter 17

It's been a week since I graduated, and I haven't heard anything from Logan. I have officially given up that I'm ever going to hear from him again. 

I'm sitting in front of my computer, staring hard at the "Accept Now" link in the acceptance email I received from UT. I don't really want to go to UT, but at this point, I feel like I have no other option. How can I possibly go to A&M and see him every day and not be with him? It'll drive me absolutely crazy. I already feel like I'm losing my mind.

I keep thinking about that day in my kitchen when he first told me he was going to A&M, how I was so nervous that he would think I was weird for also going and majoring in the same thing. I never would have thought then that I would have the same feeling now but on such a completely different level. 

I hover the cursor over the link and am just about to click it when my mom comes into my room. "Hey, hun, I'm trying to think of something different to make for dinner tonight. Dad says he needs a break from my Instant Pot. Got any suggestions?" I shrug, "I don't know..." Then, she sees what I'm doing...

"What are you doing?" she asks. 

I know I sound snippy when I reply, "What does it look like I'm doing? I'm accepting to UT." I immediately feel bad when I hear the words come out of my mouth and say "I'm sorry...I didn't mean to sound so rude. ...I'm just not very happy right now." 

She sits on the bed with me and strokes my hair in that soothing way that only a mother can do. Softly, she says, "I'm sorry, sweetie. I know things didn't turn out the way you thought they would. But, I don't think you should let him decide where you go to college."

I look at her surprised, "Don't you want me to go to UT?" She sighs, "Of course. You know I do...but I want you to go to the college that's right for you even more." 

I can feel tears beginning to well in my eyes. "Mom, how can I go there and see him every day?" I say. "It'll be so weird and so awkward." She shrugs, "Well, it probably will be at first, but you'll both get over it. I can promise you that. Either you'll both move on to other people or you'll become friends again. You never know. Either way, you will survive." 

I pick at a loose string on my comforter, and we sit in silence for a moment. Then, she says, "I can tell you this, though. If I have ever taught you anything in your life, I hope that the one lesson that you've learned by now is that you should never let a boy keep you from doing what you want." 

I smile, "Maybe you're right, Mom."

We both look up toward the ceiling when the doorbell rings. A moment later, Riley screams, "Kristina, it's for you." I look at my mom and shrug. 

I'm not expecting anyone. 

We both go upstairs, and as I go into the kitchen, I see that Riley is holding the front door wide open, and in front of the door standing on my front porch is none other than Logan Wagner. 

My heart immediately starts racing, and butterflies start swarming in my stomach. He's standing there with a guitar strapped around his neck. Even now, when I look at him, I can't help but to think of how hot he looks. 

He's perfectly framed in the doorway. He looks like a painting, like a beautiful Boticelli painting. 

I walk up to the door, and he gives me that smile, that perfect smile that just wrecks my heart every single time I see it. "Uh, hi," I say.

He clears his throat and says, "Uh, hi. I didn't get a chance to give you my graduation present. So...here it is." 

He takes a step backwards and begins to sing, "Oh, Ms. Believer, my pretty sleeper. Your twisted mind is like snow on the road. Your shaking shoulders prove that it's colder inside your head than the winter of dead."