Martha My Dear

Chapter 21

"Are you alright?" John asked worriedly as we exited the ladies washroom.

I nodded timidly, knowing my eyes were bloodshot and swollen from crying, still feeling terrible about everything that had happened, for all I knew Paul was still chatting up girls at the bar.

Just as the thought crossed my mind I caught a glimpse of the devil himself pushing his was through the crowd to come over to where we were standing.

"I don't think I can talk to him now." I turned to Pattie feeling my stomach drop once again.

"I really think you should. John," Pattie spoke softly before motioning for John to let Paul and I talk, the both of them leaving my side.

I stiffened, completely glued in place watching helplessly as Paul stopped in front of me, horrified to see me in the state I was in.

"W-" He began seeming not to know the full story, having been preoccupied with some other birds.

"Who's Maggie?" I gnawed on my bottom lip not allowing myself to give into his soft features, his doe eyes becoming anguished as he looked downwards to his feet.

"How can I trust you? You had a girl who willingly went into a relationship with you knowing you had a girlfriend and who wanted to keep it a secret, Paul." My lip quivered as I spoke delicately in almost a whisper, keeping myself from yelling although I really wanted to in the moment.

"Do you know when I broke things off with Maggie?" Paul looked up calmly, quite apparently trying not to show his distress.

I shook my head, having previously assuming he hadn't.

"The day we met. After I had left the café you work at, she'd shown up at my house that night. I told her I couldn't see her anymore because suddenly, it didn't feel right anymore." He pursed his lips into a thin line shaking his head looking off to the stage, his ego bruised slightly by what appeared to be my inability to trust him.

"What about those girls at the bar just right now?" I asked defensively though I knew what he had just explained was one of the sweetest things I'd ever heard.

"They were fans, and I know how it looked, but I lo- I would never do that to you." He spoke sweetly stumbling over his words slightly, his hand gently grazing my cheek as he tucked a piece of my hair behind my ear.

"I'm sorry Paul, I- I just," I began before he leaned down and placed an urgent kiss onto my lips, with a soft yet dominant touch to erase any doubts I had left in my mind.

Taking my face in his hands he deepened the kiss longingly, he seemed more assertive than ever, in need to get his point to me across. I began to slow him down slightly by putting my hand on his chest, his pace seeming much dire than before.

Soon a pang of guilt hit me right as his lips parted from mine, knowing I hadn't exactly told the entire truth of my past as he just did.

"What's wrong?" He looked worriedly into my eyes, afraid I still hadn't forgiven him.

"It's nothing, can we continue this conversation later, when we don't have a crowd?" I looked over having felt eyes on the two of us, them being the eyes of Paul's lads and Pattie.

"Right." Paul smiled slightly realizing all of them in the distance as they began to split up, pretending the hadn't been staring.
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We soon went back to the hotel, all a bit drunk and high, stumbling in the hotel being immediately apprehended by the hotel security guards who paged down Brian on a walkie talkie like they were the police force.

"I told you Brian would murder you lot, come on let's go Charlie." Pattie slurred wrapping her arm around mine stumbling over to the elevators with me.

We waved back at them triumphantly as we waited for the elevator doors to open, revealing Brian when they did.

His eyes were fiery with rage as they landed on the two of us.

"How could you two go along with something so stupid?" Brian scolded as stepped out of the elevator.

"It was John's idea." Pattie blurted, putting the blame on him before tugging me past him into the elevator.

"Fifth floor please." Pattie winked at the bellhop as he pressed the button for us.

"Why did we just leave them there?" I looked over at Pattie at how proud she looked.

"I've heard one too many Epstein lectures in my day, he tries to tame those boys like wild animals." She snorted, causing me to giggle at her.

We'd wandered down to Paul and I's room nearly passing out in the hallway from exhaustion.

The two of us nearly collapsed on the bed, my mind beginning to wander back to where I hadn't wanted it to go.

I stared at myself one last time, fixing the vail that hung crookedly from my head for the sixtieth time that morning.

"Everyone's waiting Charlotte." A longtime school friend informed me peaking her head into the room, already knowing well what my thoughts were.

"I'll be out in a minute yeah?" I offered the fullest smile I could muster in my flustered state.

She nodded with half a grin before shutting the door, looking almost as worried as I.

Swiftly, I grabbed the vail and ripped it off my head, taking my hair down from it's updo and letting my hair flow freely down my shoulders.

"I can't do this." I whispered to myself in the mirror, finally admitting to myself what I hadn't been able to for weeks.

"Charlie?" Pattie called me for what seemed like the tenth time as she leaned up looking at me.

I hummed in response, feeling my heart rate pounding furiously in my chest.

"What's wrong?" She asked with a frown.

"Nothing." I shook my head pursing my lips.

"Come on." She narrowed her eyes at me knowing better than that.

"If I tell you something, promise me to never, ever repeat it to anyone?" I asked worriedly staring at the ceiling in a daze.

"Scout's honour." She stammered drunkenly, making me realize she wouldn't remember anything in the morning anyway.

"I ran away from my wedding." I looked over at her seeing her blink slowly, trying to process what I had just told her.