Le Gasp The Club

Sorry for this.

(Image above is my crush laying in my lap. 😍☺️😁😆💕💞💖 Lil cutie)

I'm so sorry for this chapter but this is basically just a rant.

I am fuming right now. I have never been so angry and sad and depressed so much at the same time.

I just, I feel like I wanna scream till my vocal cords tear or grab a knife and end it all.

I've never felt so lost like right now.

I'm sorry. It's just. Something happened a couple weeks ago that had been bothering me and I don't know who to vent to. My friend has been talking me through it and she helped me a lot but I didn't explain everything as much as I would've liked.

She's absolutely amazing and I love her with all my heart. ❤️❤️❤️

So, it dragged from a Friday to Saturday.

So on Friday my mom got a call from the school saying that I needed to attend Saturday school.

I needed to attend because I was absent on a Wednesday to celebrate my mom's birthday.

That same day at school, my coach from wrestling told our team that instead of going to Saturday school we could go to the home game for our boy wrestlers.

This home game was for CIF so it was really important for our sport. I wanted to go because no one else was going to Saturday school and I was just gonna be sitting in a classroom for 5-6 hours doing nothing.

If I were to go to the tournament than I would get 14 service hours. If I were to go to Saturday I would get 12 service hours. The tournament would only be for about 4 hours so I thought it was perfect.

When I got home I told my mom about the tournament and how I could there instead of Saturday school. She told me that she didn't want me to go so I listened and went to Saturday school the next day.

In the morning my mom was acting funny and she kept making weird remarks. Like she was inferring that I wasn't going to Saturday school.

It was really bothering me so I confronted her about it before I got out of the car.

I said "Mom, why are you acting and treating me like this? You've been acting weird all morning, what's going on?"

Than she responded with,

"Because Bella, I don't think you're going to Saturday School. You've been pretty dishonest lately and I think you're up to something. You haven't been telling me the truth and you've been lying to my face and leaving out important information."

I was so shocked and offended by all this.

First of all, I haven't been lying about anything.

Second of all, I don't leave out any important information that is useful. I mean, why would I leave out information if I want to go to this event. That would put me in the wrong and make a possibility of me not going.

Third of all, what? What do you mean I've been up to something? What are you interring?

My mind was racing and I was mad. Really mad. My mind was overflowing but my mouth moved in it's own and I asked,

"Do you think I'm doing drugs? Alcohol? Marijuana and beer?"

She looked at me just said "They're possibilities. I don't think you're doing just that."

I was so shocked and just felt nothing. All I was thinking was 'she honestly believes I'm doing drugs? That I'm drinking? That I would do those things? She doesn't trust me and know me enough to know that I'm the last person to do those things?'