Le Gasp The Club

Fuck

Hey guys.

I just wanted to check in on all of you and make sure that all of you are doing well.

I myself haven't really recently.

I'm really sorry. I'm so sorry everyone.

I'm sorry for having this book just become about me complaining about my problems. I'm sorry for being so annoying and being so undeserving of your attention and support. 

I don't deserve to have any of this. I'm sorry for being here, I'm so sorry for plaguing this great app and you great people with me. I know I am annoying but this is the only place where I feel like I can talk about what's on my mind.

I've been really down and the problems that have been happening just keep piling up and are making it worse. I just don't feel happy anymore, the things I use to laugh at don't seem funny anymore, I feel like I don't talk to my friends as much anymore, I feel like an outsider to everyone.

I just don't think I'm worth it anymore, I don't think I want to be here.

I don't like feeling this way towards everyone and I just hate myself. I hate everything about myself and just don't deserve anything I have. I'm a shitty person and I don't think I should be here anymore.

It's so hard to say out loud and to just admit, but I don't want to live anymore. I want to die.

I feel so pathetic for wanting death instead of just pushing on. It just doesn't feel right though, I don't even see a decent future for myself ahead anyway. 

I almost attempted to do it last week on Tuesday, when I was home alone, I thought for awhile before doing anything and started to write the letters for my friends and family. I so hard and for so long and when it came back down to it, I was too scared to go all the way.

I had the blade ready and was prepared but I just couldn't do it. I cried even harder after and burned the letters before my family could come home to see them. 

Ha...I ended up pussying out in the end. How fuckin sad is that? How pathetic and worthless can I even be?

Fuck, I don't deserve anything. I am so shitty, I am such a disappointment.

I'm sorry for bombarding you all with this. I really do mean it. I didn't mean to bother you guys.

I hope and wish you all the best.

Bye

-Weabo_Legend