A Hundred Thoughts - Part 6

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"oh it's impossible to get you off my mind

i think about a hundred thoughts and you are 99

i've understood that you will never be mine

and that's fine i'm just breaking inside"

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Yoongi went into the little bedroom he shared with Dawon

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Yoongi went into the little bedroom he shared with Dawon.  He thought to himself, 'why am I so annoyed.  I should be happy I finally have a job, a home, and friends at school.'  He didn't want to admit to himself that he was starting to like Ara and the thought of her with Jay made him seeth.  Jay was a user, a vile heartless person that didn't deserve her love.  He wondered when he had started feeling the butterflies when in her presence but right now his heart felt like it was being squeezed and he felt like he couldn't breathe.  How could he just ignore these feelings? 

  How could he just ignore these feelings? 

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Ara knocked on his door. "Yoongi! Come eat with me."

He opened the door looking at her sweet face smiling at him and his heart melted. 

"Weren't you hungry?"  She asked.

Yoongi nodded and followed her into the little kitchen.  All he desired was to confess to her that he liked her but now was not the time.  Maybe he shouldn't.  He didn't want things to change between them, so sweet and innocent was their relationship.  

Ara had been busy heating the food while he sulked in his room.  He watched her pretty hands as she served him. He sat across from her and started to eat.  It was so awkward and different with Jay there.  Jay's big frame taking too much room in the small kitchen.  The lively conversations they usually had were now between the couple and Yoongi felt lonely and ignored.  Jay had everything he didn't have including the girl.  As he sat there in his hand-me-down clothes feeling sorry for himself, he silently vowed to better himself.

After Jay left, Ara went to his room again to see how he was.  She had noticed the change in him since they got home and she was worried about him.  He laid on the bed facing the wall so she wondered if he was sad or sleeping.  

Gently touching his arm she asked, "Are you alright? You know I'm here for you

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Gently touching his arm she asked, "Are you alright? You know I'm here for you."

"I'm fine, just sleepy," he said still not turning to face her. "Goodnight, kitty."  His pet name for her slipped out even when he didn't want to use it.  Ever since the first day they met they had easily used the sweet endearment.

She leaned in and touched his cheek.  Clearly, he had been crying and didn't want to face her, but why?

"Yoongi, what's wrong?  I thought you were happy today cause you got the job."

"Nothing's wrong, please go to bed, Ara."  He tried to sound normal but the wobble in his voice gave him away.

"Good night Yoongi,"  she said feeling sad.

She leaned in and grazed her lips on his cheek then left the room.  She knew life had been hard on him.  Harder than most.  That's why she made it her priority to be kind to him.  There were nights when he just came to her room and snuggled up to her while he cried tucking himself into a little ball.  She sang the same lullaby softly to him all the while stroking his hair as he relaxed.  He was grateful that his life was getting better, that he had somewhere to sleep at night and food every day.  He always told her that and he called her 'my angel kitty.'

( ˶˘ ³˘(⋆=❛ ہ ❛=)!♡

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( ˶˘ ³˘(⋆=❛ ہ ❛=)!♡

You know that I can't

Show you me

Give you me

The weaknesses that I hide 

you can never see

I wear a mask again so I could see you

But I still want you (want you, want you)

-Untold Truth by BTS

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