started writing on: Tuesday 5th February 21:36 (09:36 pm)
ended writing on: Tuesday 5th February 21:56 (09:56 pm)
Okay, so here's a awkward confession - well I wouldn't call it a confession? 🤔 anyway, this is about my current crush on this person that goes to my school, is in two of my lessons and I casually hang out with her durning break + lunch.
I've had a crush on since... the start of year 10 I think? I can't briefly remember it but that certain feeling grew more in mid October. We've both been friends since mid 2017 which was May or June durning year 8 and are still great friends to be honest.
Now I know that they like me too ((and yes in that certain way)) but nowadays I don't know.
We are both bisexual ((which wouldn't be a surprise?)) and I'm scared that if I start going out with them, their female ex ((who seriously is a bitch... one lucky reader who's reading could possibly know who I'm talking about)) would try to make some stupid rumour a day or two later which ends up on us breaking up.
Now those two went out for a good week(?) or so I think and it went well at first but then completely went down south after my crush's ex ((let's call her... um, Cas? I don't know that's the first name that came up in my head)) apparently saw her 'cheating'.
A year or so later, Cas goes out with someone and not even a week later she excuses ((lets call my crush... I don't know Li?)) Li for apparently holding hands with her ((now ex)) boyfriend. It was kind of stupid because Li is not even friends with him and does not walk home with him either but hey, I did mention that Cas is a bitch.
I'm also scared if nearly everyone ((except for true amazing friends, credits to you sweethearts UwU)) asks me why I'm going out with someone who ((now I don't wanna write this BUT FUCK IT BECAUSE THERE ARE STILL SOME PEOPLE BRINGING IT UP AT SCHOOL)) 'faked' cancer, which she did not ((dear people from my school who's supposedly reading this and thinks that statement is true; it's not and don't tell me how and/or why because I ain't someone to talk about something personal about my friends))
To be honest I don't know why I'm writing this when I'm supposed to be going to bed in a minute or so AND I should've done my maths homework by now but I guess I got to do that tomorrow huh? 🤷♀️
Anyway, I have just a few more things to finish this off with:
1) I'm scared to confess to my crush that I like her
2) I'm scared if some homophobic idiots are going to come at me ((cough everyone in my family cough))
And 3) ... I just don't know how imma survive from certain bitches if me and my crush start going out.
Oh well... just hopefully tomorrow is going to be a good day ((yet I doubt it ha!))
